


Forged in Fire

by EscapingReality51



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Emmerdale Big Bang Round 1, Explicit Sexual Content, Fire, Firefighter AU, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Meet-Cute, firefighter!Aaron, lawyer!Robert, mentions of past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 04:13:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11959476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EscapingReality51/pseuds/EscapingReality51
Summary: On his way to work one morning, a runner catches Robert's eye. He starts seeing the man around everywhere, growing more intrigued with each sighting and almost interaction. When he finally meets him properly in the elevator of his building, a spark ignites and the two embark on an intense relationship, but when Robert is reminded of a past trauma he gets scared. Will Robert be able to let go of his past or will he be consumed by it?





	Forged in Fire

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry for the Emmerdale Big Bang Round 1 on tumblr.
> 
> This fic wouldn't have happened without the endless support of my beta, [beautifulhigh](http://beautifulhigh.tumblr.com/) on tumblr . Thank you so much for your patience, your kindness, and your love of this fic. It has made me want to write more, to make it better, and this fic wouldn't be what it is without you.

Love is a fire that burns unseen,   
a wound that aches yet isn’t felt,  
an always discontent contentment,  
a pain that rages without hurting,  
  
a longing for nothing but to long,  
a loneliness in the midst of people,   
a never feeling pleased when pleased,   
a passion that gains when lost in thought.

\- [Luís Vaz de Camões](http://www.poetryinternationalweb.net/pi/site/poem/item/8436/auto/0/Love-is-a-fire-that-burns-unseen)

 

 

Robert Sugden was having a perfectly good morning, until he realised it was snowing.

The public transport he usually took to work would be horridly packed and late, and there was absolutely no point in attempting to take the car, so he quickly decided he would have to walk. With his satchel over his shoulder, a scarf wrapped around his neck, gloves on, and a coffee from the local coffee shop where his sister Victoria worked, he trudged along the pavement with careful steps, hoping he wouldn’t be too late to his morning meeting with Mr Pearce.

The weather was crisp and the air was dry - the sky was dark blue and beautiful, the ground illuminated mostly by the rising sun and the remaining street lamps that stood along the path. The trees were speckled with frost and the ground had a thin layer of snow blanketing it. Winter was a glorious time of year purely for the beauty in which it rendered the world, the freshness it gave the air, and Robert took a deep breath, enjoying the cold air in his lungs waking him up as much as his americano. The clothes he had wrapped himself in gave him a little warmth and the coffee in his gloved hand gave a bit more, and even though his breath dissipated quickly in the cold giving away just how low the temperature was, he found the morning quite enjoyable.

He was walking through the local park to get to work when he heard footsteps coming fast ahead of him. The notion of anyone running in this weather was ridiculous; it was dark, the ground was wet, it was freezing and who even had that self-control? After a few seconds Robert noticed a man wearing tight workout clothes running towards him, eyes focussed on the ground. Robert shuddered at the sight; he was wearing a bobble hat, thin gloves, and a thin running jacket; it must have been freezing for him but he didn’t seem to care. Instead, he seemed completely entranced in his own world; the black wire of his earbuds jumped as he ran, quite a fast pace considering the early hour and the snow, but his mouth was hard set and determined. He had black stubble on his cheeks, a straight nose and striking blue eyes, but most striking of all was his determination. He was fit, all lean muscle accentuated by his expensive running outfit, tight dark material stretched over the muscles on his arms and legs. He wore a thin body-warmer but his body was still quite obviously mouth-watering. The exercise gave him quite a lovely flush which Robert couldn’t help but notice; he was definitely Robert’s type.

Robert was not big on exercise, opting instead to go to the gym a few days a week to keep healthy and running outside was purely a summer activity the few times he could pull himself together to do it. This man had a resolve unrivalled even by anyone working in Robert’s solicitor's office.

He ran towards Robert and gave a small nod in acknowledgement as they passed each other. Robert’s eyes trailed after him, lingering slightly on his arse in tight clothing - he was gorgeous. Robert smiled to himself before taking a sip of his coffee, admitting that even though walking to work was a pain, it had its perks.

He made his way to work, arriving only 15 minutes later than he anticipated and found Alicia at her desk with a grim smile on her face.

“Mr Pearce is already in there, and he isn’t happy. I’ve given him a cup of tea and mentioned the weather, knowing it would make you late…”

Robert sighed. Alicia was great at her job but Mr Pearce wasn’t easy to please when angry.

“Thanks, I appreciate it. Can you call my 10 o’clock and mention that I might have to postpone on account of a client?”

“Sure,” she replied, finding the number in her computer and dialling it.

“If there’s any trouble, mention to Yates the extra hours I put in last year for his business plan.”

Alicia grinned at him as he walked into the room.

His meeting with Pearce went about as well as he expected. Pearce was about as rich as they came and although Robert usually only took care of his business issues Pearce had instead wanted council on a matter of an unruly debtor. The meeting was long and boring and Robert found his mind drifting to slight stubble and determined features while he droned on.

The snow hadn’t melted the next morning so Robert braced himself for another walk. He managed to make it out earlier and there was no one else out on the streets so he walked to work in the twilight, cold and sullen, but at least he wasn’t late this time.

The morning after that, the snow had melted, and Robert went back to taking his usual mode of transport, slightly disappointed there was no jogging on the underground.

 

It was a rainy afternoon in February and Robert was knackered. All his time had been spent on a reviewing the business plan of a new client and suddenly the day was gone. He chose to walk home to try and work the tension out of his body, umbrella in hand as he enjoyed the smell of rain and a chance to clear his head; the gentle pitter-patter of drops against the pavement was relaxing, as was Leyla’s voice down the line.

“Come out for drinks tonight!” Leyla enthused.

“You might have left hours ago but I’m only on my way home now… Look, I’ve had Harry in my office most of the day and gone through his paperwork ‘til my eyes were sore, I need a night off,” he said, and she sighed.

“A night off should mean coming out with us, meeting people, maybe even taking someone home…” Leyla was insistent as always and Robert chuckled. He rounded a corner and a sight ahead of him caught his eye; there he was, the beautiful winter runner, braving the rain for his fitness.

“I’ll see yeah? I just…”

Robert replied absentmindedly, eyes fixed on the man running towards him.

The bobble hat was discarded allowing Robert to really admire his face, all hard angles and soft edges with small dark curls resting atop his head. The most familiar feature was the determination etched in every line of his face, his tight set lips and his clenched jaw making Robert want him all over again. His memory had been insufficient in capturing just how enticing he was.

“So are you coming or not?” Leyla asked and Robert forgot to reply.

Running Man wore the same tight clothing and Robert could practically see every muscle move underneath his clothes. It has been a few weeks since he last saw him but Robert couldn’t help but think that maybe he lived close by - Robert wouldn’t say no to another chance meeting in the street, especially if he shed more clothes as the months passed.

As they passed each other he gave Robert a small smile and Robert smiled back, his eyes shamelessly trailing over his body as he ran. He turned his head slightly to watch him run past, eyes lingering on his arse long enough for him to know he wanted to sink his teeth into it. Running Man stopped at a crossing and looked back absentmindedly as he waited for the light to go green. His eyes met Robert’s and he shook his head when he realised exactly where Robert was looking. Robert chuckled as he watched him run away, quietly pleased with himself.

That cleared up something, at least.

“Earth to Robert?”

“Sorry,” he muttered, “just saw something…”

“Distracted by something… or someone?” Leyla guessed and Robert laughed.

He looked back to find the light green and the guy gone and sighed, “Maybe.”

“That explains it then,” she replied, teasing. “Come on, let’s go out and maybe you’ll meet this mystery person at a bar.”

Robert seriously doubted that would happen but he went out anyway.

Leyla was one of the smartest people he knew; she had been top of her class at university and as soon as they had started at the same law firm Robert knew she would be an asset to any client. Her speciality was criminal law and Robert had seen her in action - it was inspiring. Robert enjoyed the grit and cut-throat behaviour found in business law but it spoke to Leyla’s strength that she chose the hardest cases.

On top of that she was hilarious, beautiful, and a great shoulder to lean on.

The night ended with Robert dragging some random home at Leyla’s encouragement and even though the day after was a work day you couldn’t tell she was hungover.

 

The light streaming through his windows was an unwelcome sight and Robert pried his eyes open with a groan. He awoke with memories of fire and the smell of smoke sticking to his skin and had to take a long shower, scrubbing vigorously at his skin to get the imaginary smell off him. It helped him feel something remotely human again. His sandalwood shower gel made the acrid smell in his nose disappear and when he made it into his suit and tie he knew today was going to be a struggle.

Robert was used to using his suits like an armour; it made him look prestigious even though he was just a farmer’s boy, let him express himself with elegance, using coloured ties or shirts to fit his mood. It also helped that he looked amazing in a suit, that he got lingering glances and shameless stares.

Most days, it was calming to put on, a daily routine that made him ready for anything but today the tie was too tight around his neck, the suit felt suffocating.

He picked out a crisp white shirt and a blue tie for his grey suit, an easy choice on a day where small decisions seemed overwhelming. Vic’s café was a sure-fire way to make him feel a bit better.

Robert trudged down the street and opened the door to the café, relishing the smell of pastries and the warmth that engulfed him. His heart sunk when he saw that the queue was ridiculously long - it almost always was in the morning as their coffee was arguably the best within a five mile radius. Robert took his rightful place at the end of it and looked at the time - he had to reconcile himself with being late but sometimes a cup of coffee was exactly what he needed on a bad day.

His impatience grew; he tapped his foot and shook his watch out of his sleeve to glare steadily at the time while the queue moved forward at a snail’s pace. He took out his phone and found The Financial Times, passing the time by reading an in-depth political analysis - when he finally arrived at the till he saw that Vic wasn’t behind the counter. Instead it was Finn, Victoria’s coworker and part-time barista who flirted way too much.

“Morning, Robert.”

“Morning, Finn,” he answered, eyes busy with his phone.

“The usual?”

Robert nodded in reply and Finn immediately got to work.

“Busy day today?” Finn asked over his shoulder.

“Most days are busy,” Robert replied absentmindedly.

“Right…” Finn waited as the machine brewed the coffee, and eyed Robert. “Did you know that the Americano comes from the Second World War where American soldiers would dilute espresso to make them taste more like American coffee?”

Robert looked up from his phone to see Finn smiling at him.

“I didn’t know that, no.” He fished out some coins from his pocket and placed them on the counter. “Can I have a croissant as well? And knock on the door to the kitchen will you?”

“Sure,” Finn said, voice small. He knocked on the door to the kitchen and Vic stuck her head out. Her expression was slightly annoyed until she spotted Robert and her face broke out into a grin.

“Not have time for breakfast this morning?” she asked and Robert smirked.

“Nope - and I had a need for some amazing croissants and excellent coffee so I came here.” She cocked her eyebrow, noticed his slumped shoulders and his tired eyes. She always noticed.

“You alright?”

Robert shrugged, “Just one of those nights, didn’t sleep well.”

“Nightmare?” she asked and he gave a small nod. “I’m sorry Rob, I thought it was getting better.” Robert tried to shrug it off, tried to act as if they weren’t a common occurrence, weren’t plaguing his sleep and lingering in his mind days after he had them.

“Dinner at mine tonight if you want?”

Robert smiled at her, knew she was there to help him. Finn finished his coffee and handed it to him over the counter and Robert grabbed the croissant in his other hand. “Yeah sounds good.”

“Excellent, see you at seven?”

Robert nodded and waved goodbye before turning around. As he was walking towards the door Robert saw _him_ standing in the queue and was completely taken aback. He had his hoodie thrown up to hide a slightly surly expression on his face and it clearly wasn’t working. His hair was damp from a recent shower and stuck to his forehead even below the hood of his jumper. His lips were set in a line, his hands stuffed deep in his pocket and his eyes were staring unfeelingly ahead as the queue slowly moved forward. Robert eyed him and silently chuckled at the sight of someone so clearly not a morning person. When Robert caught his eye and threw him a smile however, his eyebrows raised and his lips curled up in an appreciative smile. Robert threw him a small nod as they passed one another, thinking maybe today wasn’t going to be all bad.

Vic threw together a delicious meal as always, cooking his favourite food for him and even using Mum’s recipe. The smell filled his nose as soon as he stepped into her flat and the last dregs of his bad day receded - there was nothing like a home cooked meal to soothe his soul.

“You feeling better than this morning?” she asked as they ate her lasagne.

“Yeah, work helped, getting out of my own head…” He took a bite and followed it with a sip of wine. “I’m thinking of visiting Mum tomorrow if you’re up for it?”

Her face fell slightly at his words, her fork clinked with the porcelain as she put it back down on her plate.

“I can’t tomorrow, got a full day at uni and then a shift at the café.”

“Oh,” was all he could manage.

“I’ll come with you next time yeah?”

He took another bite and nodded, a fake smile on his lips. She smiled at him, that smile that always made him feel pathetic, and so he changed the subject.

“You know the bloke in the queue this morning in the café?” he asked, and her eyes lit up.

“You’re going to have to be a bit more specific there Robert, don’t know if you noticed but there were lots of blokes in that queue…”

“He was young, wore a grey hoodie, his eyes were blue and his hair curly,” he began and she giggled.

“You like him?” she asked. He cringed at the phrasing, finding it a little innocent for what he had in mind but nodded solemnly.

“I just thought maybe you knew something about him.”

Vic shook her head.

“I’m not even sure I know who you mean,” she said, grinning. “Want some ice cream?”

Robert went home with a full stomach and a lighter heart than when he woke up and that was all he could ask for really.

 

It became almost eerie how often Robert spotted the man around his neighbourhood now that he had really noticed him.

He was apparently a frequenter of the coffee shop Vic worked in and Robert often saw him waiting in line or sitting at a table, or even one of them exiting as the other entered. They shared lingering glances, Robert shamelessly eyeing him and relishing the blush it elicited.

On one Friday evening Robert found himself looking at the wine shelf of his local supermarket for a bottle of red and spotted him walking by and picking up some beers. He bit his lip and nodded at Robert and Robert couldn’t help thinking about what he wanted to do to that lip.

Robert was at the local pub one evening, caught the eye of one of the women there and just as he was taking her home he saw the man walk into the pub and mentally cursed his bad luck.

Even more ridiculous was that they used the same chippy.

Never once did Robert manage to strike up conversation, company or distance in the way and Robert resented whatever entity that decided he shouldn’t get this guy naked. It was getting a bit ridiculous.

 

The gym was never packed if you got there early enough, and Robert hated a full gym, so he made his way there earlier than he liked on a Sunday. He took a long sip of water before getting on a treadmill and getting started. His headphones allowed him to listen to music he would never admit to publicly as he ran and his eyes followed the headlines on the TV positioned above the row of treadmills, hoping to keep his mind occupied as he went through the motions.

It wasn’t that he disliked exercise but more that it was means to an end; it kept his mind and body happy but it wasn’t anything in which he found particular joy. He had to admit it had certain benefits to his state of mind and so he went, twice or three times a week if he could manage. The machine beeped as he switched it on and soon he was focussed on nothing but the rhythmic beating of his feet against the board, his heart pounding in his ears.

The sound of laughter flitted over the music in his headphones distracting him from his routine and his head instinctively looked to the source. Two men were standing by the weights, both of them very well built, joking and laughing in between sets; one of them was clearly the loud laugher while the other was quiet and slightly more reserved. They were both dark haired and dressed for the gym and it sent a jolt through Robert as he realised that one of them was the man he had seen running around his neighbourhood. It was the same straight nose, the same blue eyes and curly hair and he was wearing a tight-fitting t-shirt and shorts that hugged his arse, meaning Robert got his first look at him in something that really showed off his figure.

It was also the first time Robert saw him genuinely smile. They were joking around between sets, the one in the tank top gesticulating and laughing to his heart’s content while the runner was grinning quietly beside him, sweat running down his face and plastering his hair to his forehead. The sight made Robert smile involuntarily.

Robert’s eyes raked over his broad back, his strong legs, and his sizeable chest and it made Robert’s mouth water. Even with his trimmed stubble and his well-sculpted body, there was a softness to him that made Robert’s knees weak, a joy in his face when he smiled that was endearing and adorable, and Robert couldn’t stop staring. He tried to focus his eyes back on the screen but the lure of the man lifting weights proved too much. He was in the middle of working his back when Robert landed badly on the treadmill and almost fell off.

He grabbed at the sides, managing to keep himself up as the band rushed by beneath him. He placed his feet on the safety guards and lowered the speed and as quickly as he could got back to running at a reasonable pace. He let his eyes move back to the two men and was relieved to find that they seemed not to have noticed. Robert laughed at himself under his breath, shaking his head. It had been a while since someone had distracted him to the point of near-accident but this bloke was definitely distracting him.

Robert had never found exercise quite so sexy as he did now with the cute runner stood right in front of him, chest heaving, and he regretted wearing his loose black shorts and a grey t-shirt which showed off just how taxing his half hour run was. He stopped his work-out, changing the speed to a slow walk to let him work off the slight twang in his ankle when they seemed to finish off their workout and make for the exit.

Robert was shameless; at this point he didn’t care if the man noticed his staring because he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so instantly and deeply attracted to anyone. He couldn’t put his finger on what it was about him but Robert wanted him like nothing else. Wanted to make him moan and writhe beneath him. Robert’s mind drifted dangerously close to inappropriate for a morning gym session.

As they came closer the other one nudged the runner on the arm and pointed in Robert’s direction and their eyes met. The man grinned, biting his lip as he gave Robert a shy smile that sent shivers down Robert’s spine and his stomach fluttering.

As soon as the guy had gone Robert started to feel the twinge in his ankle.

It plagued him enough to make him stop running, make him cut his work-out short in favour of walking slowly to the changing room, trying to ignore the pain that shot up his leg with every step. In the end he decided to forego a shower and go home. The walk home, however, proved more arduous than he had thought. He spotted Vic’s café and decided that a short break would do him some good.

He knew he would have to accept some teasing for it but seeing her was worth it.

They hadn’t always been so close but now that they were it was something Robert cherished. She was strong and kind and despite Robert’s less than ideal childhood Vic had welcomed him back into her life with open arms and a few long catch up sessions. She had been the first person to accept Robert for who he was when he came out as bisexual.

He limped into the café and she threw him a scowl before she starting making his usual order. His legs were still sore from the workout and he hadn’t realised how much his ankle was hurting until he sat down and let it rest. Vic, being Vic, noticed immediately.

“What have you gone and done now? Unless it’s something I don’t want to know about in which case go home and chuck some ice on it…” she said while she prepared his americano to perfection.

“Nothing like that…” he hesitated before continuing, “just almost fell off the treadmill this morning and my ankle disagrees with me a bit. It’s fine, I’ll take care of it later.”

“Anything happen to make you fall off then?” she asked.

She always knew and it was infuriating. Robert knew lying wouldn’t get past her.

“I may or may not have seen that guy I mentioned to you at the gym and gotten distracted,” Robert said. Victoria laughed at him but stopped as soon as he started wincing, propping his foot up on a nearby chair and accepting the americano. Vic sat down opposite him and pushed up his trouser leg.

“Well? Did you talk to him?”

Her gentle hands were swift in their assessment, pressing slightly on the joint and making him rotate his foot, inducing a sharp intake of breath.

“No, Vic. I mean it’s not as if we have ever actually exchanged a word… he’s just very easy on the eyes.” She set his foot back down on the chair and rushed off to the kitchen, coming back with a bag of ice which she placed on his ankle.

“It’s just a slight sprain, ice it in 20 minute intervals and keep it elevated, it should be fine in a few days…” Robert took a sip and gave a groan of satisfaction.

“This is really good Vic.”

She made a gesture that seemed to mean _of course it is you idiot,_ and waved him off.

“Next time you see him talk to him for crying out loud. If you fancy him you’ve got to do something about it instead of faffing about.”

“Fine,” Robert conceded. The pain in his ankle was subsiding and the warmth from his coffee was making him feel much better. “You got one of those croissants back there too?” he asked with a grin on his face. Vic cocked an eyebrow but got up and got him one anyway.

“I mean, if you don’t talk to him next time you might end up doing some serious harm to yourself.” She pointed at his ankle and he threw a napkin at her.

“Very funny, sis.”

 

Robert was tired. Bernice had hounded him to finish the report on Mr Pearce’s case and Leyla had been too busy for breaks the past few days, giving him fewer reasons to hang around her desk and gossip. Too many long days on too little sleep was getting to him and he came home bone-weary, needing sleep. Needing a night off.

The short walk from the station to his flat was made all the more difficult by the pouring rain and of course he had forgotten his umbrella. By the time he walked through the door to his block of flats he was soaked, hair sticking to his forehead, water running down his face, and his shirt feeling distinctly more damp than usual. His brown leather satchel was dripping water onto the floor and he could only hope the paperwork buried inside was dry or Bernice would be shouting come Monday.

It was almost nine in the evening and all he could think about was the Game of Thrones re-watch he was working through in anticipation of the next season. He was more excited than he should be about the leftover spaghetti that awaited him and the cold beer in the fridge. Just the type of Friday night he had the energy for.

The lift arrived just as he pried his wet scarf from around his neck. He pressed 5 as soon as he entered and pulled out his phone to continue reading the article open in his browser. Just as the doors were closing however, a hand shot through as held it open.

Running Guy walked in.

Robert couldn’t help be surprised, couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips. This was quite the opportunity and he had a promise to Vic to uphold. If this lead to a change of plans he wasn’t going to complain. The guy was as gorgeous as he remembered.

Robert let his eyes trail over him, silently commending him for the sturdy rain-jacket he was wearing and admiring the small glow in his eyes. He was carrying a six-pack in his hand and smiled as soon as he sees Robert. He hoped he saw a flicker of recognition but Robert couldn’t be certain. He couldn’t hope for that much.

The man stepped in next to him, pressing 4 and briefly glancing his way, a smile on his lips.

“About time we actually meet,” he said, voice deep and sexy. Robert shifted, leaning against the back of the lift as the doors closed and putting his phone back in his pocket.

“Couldn’t agree more,” Robert said as he eyed him, taking in the messy hair and trimmed stubble and the beers. “Fun night in then?” he asked, eyes flicking down to the wet bottles dripping water onto the floor of the elevator.

“Party, actually… some of my mates live in this building.”

Robert nodded and tried to hide his disappointment behind a smile.

“Would’ve been a bit sad if you were off to drink those on your own.”

The guy cocked an eyebrow and didn’t back down. “That an invitation?”

Robert shrugged, let his eyes run the length of his body briefly, making sure there was no doubt as to what that pertained.

“Yes, it definitely was an invitation.” The man grinned. “I’m Robert, by the way.”

“Aaron,” he said just as the lift pinged and they arrived on the fourth floor. Robert sighed internally; he had hoped for more time. Aaron stepped out but looked back, sticking his foot in the door and giving Robert a look left him in no doubt of his intentions.

“I’ll have to come back and visit my mates again soon, maybe make a trip to the wrong floor?”

“Tell you what, if that party turn out to be a bust I’m on the fifth floor, flat 53,” Robert said, enjoying the small nod it received. “That way we won’t have to wait another two months for a chance encounter.”

Aaron nodded and gave Robert a lingering glance before he took his foot away from the lift doors and walked towards the open flat.

“Hope your foot is alright after your tumble on the treadmill,” he said with a wink just as the lift doors closed.

Robert let out a long breath when the doors closed, shaking his head and chuckling. Aaron remembered him, even if it was for something mildly embarrassing. That was always a good sign. He had no idea whether Aaron actually wanted to take him up on his offer but only time would tell.

He opened the door to his flat and sighed with relief at the prospect of a night in.

Robert loved his building; beautiful dark-brown wooden floors, carpet in the bedroom, a large kitchen and a spacious living room meant it ticked all his boxes. He shrugged off his jacket and hung it on the coat stand before walking through the living room to set his satchel down next to his desk. Mr Pearce’s debtor was getting increasingly difficult and he knew he should get some work done over the weekend, but first he had a night of doing absolutely nothing to enjoy.

Game of Thrones meant beers and tracksuit bottoms, even with the invitation standing Robert’s suit was soaked and he desperately wanted to get out of it. He got ready as quickly as he could, changing clothes from his wet suit trousers and discarding his shirt before settling in on the sofa while the pizza cooked. He knew it wouldn’t actually be appealing if Aaron did drop by and the memory of their heated glances and shared smiles lingered in the forefront of his mind - he wasn’t used to such a firm attraction so quickly but something about him was electric. The potential was almost a pipe-dream and if he didn’t show up, Robert concluded, there was nothing more to be done.

The soft cushions and familiarity of the music made Robert relax, leaning back and letting the weight of the day slowly disappear. He rested his socked feet on the coffee table as he ate and lay almost horizontal on the sofa as he ate his food and enjoyed the episode, any thought of a visitor forgotten.

The next episode just started to play when he heard a faint knocking at his door and he paused, setting his beer down on the coffee table.

He put his empty plate in the kitchen on his way to the door, quickly washing his hands. He opened the door to find Aaron on the other side of the door, smiling at him. He held a bottle of whiskey in one hand and two plastic cups in the other, and he lifted them as he saw Robert and raised an eyebrow. Robert instantly felt completely inadequate, seeing him dressed as he was.

Robert was floored; his running outfit and rain-coat did nothing to accentuate his body the way this outfit did. He wore a dark grey shirt with his sleeves rolled up, allowing Robert to see his strong arms. He finished the look off with a pair of well-fitting dark blue jeans. Robert swallowed hard and suddenly regretted changing out of his suit, something he knew made him look intimidating, confident, something he could hide behind. Something he definitely couldn’t do in pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt.

“Offer still stand?” Robert’s eyes were wide and Aaron lifted the whisky too. “Figured this was more your style so I nicked it…”

Robert grinned and realised he was standing in his pyjamas. He looked down at himself, embarrassment flooding him.

“Wasn’t exactly expecting you,” Robert conceded, but opened the door to let him walk through to the living room.

“I can see that,” Aaron joked. His eyes shone with glee but still he looked at Robert in a way that made him feel _wanted._ It was disarming.

Aaron walked into the living room and set down the plastic cups and bottle on the coffee table. His footsteps echoed on Robert’s wooden floor as he walked and Robert looked down at his socked feet, hoping his embarrassment wasn’t obvious.

“Never actually got around to watching that,” he said as he pointed at the screen and Robert couldn’t hide his surprise. He shook it off before replying.

“How do you know what it is then if you’ve never seen it?”

“My best mate showed me an episode a while back but I couldn’t get into it…,” Aaron said.

“Your best mate is the one from the gym?” Robert asked.

His reaction was different to what Robert had imagined; he smiled.

“So you do remember,” he said, grin on his face, shoulders relaxed. Robert nodded in reply, feeling his confidence return despite his discomfort at his attire.

He made to pour some whiskey into the plastic cups and Robert stopped him, going to the kitchen and taking down two proper glasses instead. He pulled down his crystal whiskey glasses and saw Aaron’s eyes trail over the bare skin exposed when he lifted his arms. It made Robert smile, a wicked, sinful smile that made his skin tingle. Maybe he had nothing to be nervous about. The thought was thrilling.

“The party not that interesting then?” Robert asked as Aaron poured a generous amount into each class.

“It was alright, guessed this might be more interesting though.”

Aaron held his eye as they clinked their glasses, held it even as they took a sip and Robert appreciated the burn on his tongue, down to his stomach.

“I’m thinking you’re right.”

Robert grinned at him shamelessly, and Aaron chuckled to himself.

“I hope I didn’t interrupt,” Aaron started and looked around the room, “it appears you had quite the night planned.”

Robert shrugged, set his drink down on the counter with a satisfying sound.

“Nothing wrong with a few beers, pizza, and Game of Thrones.”

“Well I wouldn’t know about the last bit,” Aaron conceded, “but you want to turn that back on so I can decide?”

“I can’t turn it back on if you haven’t seen it all from the beginning…” Robert walked over to his collection and found the first season. “We can watch the first episode if you like.”

“Why not,” he said, grabbing his glass and sitting down next to Robert. Robert popped in the correct disc and walked back on the sofa.

The episode started and Robert watched as Aaron leaned back on the sofa, arm over the back of it and placing hand dangerously close to Robert’s shoulder. Robert turned his head to watch but he was hyper-aware of Aaron; every movement was noted, his attention lay solely with the man next to him.

“Go to the gym often?” Aaron asked, “I haven’t seen you there before…”

“I try to go when it’s the least busy.”

“Right… Pity.” Aaron grinned at Robert and it only made Robert want him more.

Robert knew he wanted him, probably more than he had wanted anyone in too long, but this was new territory; his conquests usually involved a suit, an expensive drink, an atmospheric bar and someone Robert has spotted from across the room. It was a game of chess, a set of predetermined rules and moves that Robert could play however he wanted in order to win. He was quite good at it but the rules were thrown out the window by Aaron’s smile. It made Robert nervous. He wasn’t used to being nervous.

“See that guy?” Aaron asked, pointing at Robb Stark and making Robert look at the screen. Robert nodded. “He looks quite like my last boyfriend - except with bigger lips.”

Robert looked over at a grinning Aaron.

“That your type then?” he asked and Aaron eyed him shamelessly.

“My type is fit,” he said as he shrugged and Robert turned his eye back on the screen. “Don’t really care otherwise.”

When Jon Snow came on screen Robert had to point at him and Aaron raised his eyebrows.

“That’s more my type. Last bloke I pulled looked a bit like him.”

“Guess we know your type then,” Aaron joked with a glint of _something_ in his eye and Robert shoved him by the shoulder.

“Guess you do.”

Aaron nodded, biting his lip. They watched the episode in relative silence, making the odd joke and slowly enjoying their whiskey. The heat from the whiskey and Aaron’s body was seeping into Robert and he realised with a start how close they were sitting. His heart started hammering in his chest, an unknown erratic beat that left him dumbfounded.

When the episode ended Robert glanced over at him, noting his empty glass and got up to get them both some more.

“You enjoy that?”

Aaron shrugged, crossing his legs and leaning back so his eyes could follow Robert as he moved.

“Was alright - I’m not sure I get the point of this whole ‘Hand of the King’ thing but I know a lot of people are killed in this show so I might enjoy it. Plus some of the actors are well fit.”

Robert sat back down, setting the bottle in front of them.

“We could try for episode two?”

They set it up and started watching except Robert wasn’t paying attention; Aaron was right there, their thighs were practically touching and when he leaned back he found Aaron’s arm still resting on the back. It made Robert’s mouth curl into a smile, his hands gripping his glass and his mind trying to remain calm. The air was tense, expectant, and Robert relished it.

He leant forward and poured them both a tumbler more of whiskey.

“This is some top quality stuff,” Robert said after placing the bottle back on the table. “Your friend has good taste.”

Aaron nodded.

“Think he bought it because he thought it would impress people.”

“It impresses me,” Robert countered, and Aaron raised an eyebrow. “I’ll have to thank him one day.”

“For what?”

“Letting his mate leave early.”

Aaron bit his lip and frowned at the same time and Robert wasn’t quite sure he understood how he did it and made it look so attractive at the same time. Self-preservation be damned, Robert wanted him and he didn’t want to deny it any longer.

Aaron was a conundrum and Robert wanted nothing more than to unravel him.

“Maybe the party was boring enough that any offer seemed better,” Aaron quipped.

“I’m much better than any party.”

Robert made sure the implications were clear.

“We’ll see about that.”

Robert looked into Aaron’s eyes, those striking blue eyes, and found that same look of determination that he initially found so attractive. Robert swallowed and ran his eyes down Aaron’s face.

“What do you want now?” Aaron asked, voice heavy and sweet. Robert’s eyes followed the movement of his lips as he spoke, wanting nothing more than to grab one of those lips between his teeth.

“I -” Robert began, eyes flickering between Aaron’s eyes and his mouth. He had a myriad of possible replies running through his head but blurted out the only completely honest answer. “I want to kiss you.”

Aaron grinned, a heartfelt smile that engulfed his features, his eyes crinkling and teeth showing. His eyes met Robert’s and his smile relaxed, eyes never leaving Robert’s. Robert could feel his breath on his face, smelling slightly of alcohol and something that had to be distinctly Aaron. He wanted to drown in it.

Aaron’s eyes flickered to Robert’s lip and he gave a slight nod, and Robert went for it. Aaron’s lips were soft and pliant, moulding to Robert’s instantly as they tentatively pressed together. It was a ghost of a touch, soft and tentative but it nonetheless sent thrills down Robert’s spine. He forgot how to think and let his instincts take over to get _more_. He placed a hand on either side of Aaron’s face and tugged him closer, pulled him slightly onto his lap as he caught Aaron’s bottom lip gently between his own, sucking at it to pull him even closer.

Aaron chuckled against his lips, a deep, slow laugh that had Robert weak at the knees. He tilted his head, felt Aaron’s stubble against his cheek as he deepened the kiss, letting his tongue slide across first Aaron’s lips and then his tongue.

All Robert could focus on was Aaron’s tongue, hot and slick and delicious. Everything else was forgotten. It was intoxicating; Aaron tasted of whisky and softness, a stark contrast to the rough fingers grabbing at Robert’s waist and pulling at his t-shirt. His tongue was searing, heated against Robert’s and it was too good, too much. Robert pulled away, looked up at Aaron’s blown pupils and puffy lips.

“Want to watch another episode?” Robert asked. Aaron’s forehead fell down to meet Robert’s as he laughed, breath ghosting across Robert’s skin.

“I really don’t,” Aaron said.

Robert smiled what he hoped was a wicked smile before he spoke, his voice deep with want: “I’m so glad to hear that.”

He went for another open-mouthed kiss, needing to feel that spark from moments before that had made his toes curl and his skin tingle. This he understood; want and desire and making someone feel good was a second nature to him. The fact that he had never wanted someone so much in his life only amplified it.

Robert melted into the kiss, pulling Aaron down on top of him, settling him between his legs as they licked into each other, hands roaming broad shoulders and warm skin. Aaron’s tongue curled behind his teeth, hungry and demanding and Robert groaned into his mouth, overwhelmed with the feeling of Aaron.

Robert had kissed a lot of people but kissing Aaron was the sum of the rest of them and more. It ripped apart his world and left him reeling. His body focused on his mouth, ignoring everything else in favour of his tongue, his lips, his heady breath against Robert’s cheek.

Robert let his hand run down to Aaron’s jeans and grab at his arse, that perfect arse he had wanted to bite into on several occasions - it was even better in his hand than he imagined, muscular and gorgeous. He pressed their hips together and felt the evidence of Aaron’s arousal against his hip-bone. This was going to be an interesting night.

“You got a bed somewhere?” Aaron mumbled as Robert kissed along his jaw, lips grazing over stubble and skin before he bit down, making Aaron hiss with pleasure.

“I do.”

“What’re we waiting for then?” Aaron asked arrogantly and Robert kissed him deeper for it.

They got up and ungraciously tumbled together through Robert’s living room, evading his end-table and the kitchen counter while still keeping their lips and bodies attached. After some struggle Robert managed to get the door open and they made it over to the bed, Aaron pulling Robert down on top of him and Robert pressed his erection against Aaron’s, eliciting a moan.

Robert realised nothing mattered other than making Aaron repeat that noise.

Robert didn’t know what the most enjoyable part of the evening was; prying Aaron from his clothing, slowly inching off every single item he was wearing until they were naked; kissing his chest and touching his skin; or running his hand through his hair, but one thing he did know was that one night with Aaron was not going to be enough.

Robert worked him open slowly, plenty of lube and one finger curled up towards his prostate, his lips wrapped around Aaron’s cock. He kept him on edge, added more fingers and more pressure until Aaron was incoherent beneath him, fingers grabbing at the sheet and running through Robert’s hair. Robert only pulled off when he felt tangy pre-cum on his tongue, moving up to kiss Aaron, let him taste himself on Robert’s lips.

Robert didn’t want to move his hand from Aaron just yet and with a desperate groan Aaron sat up and rolled the condom on him, biting into the soft skin of his stomach as he did so. Robert pulled his fingers out as Aaron lay back down, and he quickly dried them off on the sheets before he lined himself up before changing his mind.

Aaron was on his back but Robert had another idea. He pulled Aaron up, shifting so he could place Aaron with his back against Robert’s chest. Robert held his hip as he pressed into him, felt Aaron take every inch of him, take his breath away. He moaned and let his forehead rest on Aaron’s shoulder.

Their hips rolled together. Robert held Aaron upright as he thrust into him, felt his heat engulf him and groan. The view was exquisite – Aaron’s arse was perfect, his back was as beautiful as Robert had imagined and seeing his muscles tense as he took every inch of Robert so well was practically sinful. Aaron’s stomach was soft, peppered with perfect hair that made Robert’s mouth water and Robert held him close with all he had as he pushed in, pressing against Aaron’s prostate with every thrust and making him whimper. He tilted his head back and held Robert’s by his hair. He kissed him, a messy, dirty kiss that felt like coming up for air, soft lips and scratchy stubble searing his skin.

There was no awkwardness - Aaron was all open mouth and shameless want, pulling Robert in and letting him drown in it. It held the promise of more with every touch; Aaron was vocal, unashamed of needing Robert to push in harder, to give him more, and Robert briefly wondered if there was any of himself left to give.

It didn’t take long for Robert to wrap his hand around Aaron, tug gently in time with his thrusts and make him come, arse clenching around Robert’s slick cock. It certainly didn’t take long for Robert to follow, eyes closed as he spilled his load, unable to hold himself up any longer for sheer pleasure and they fell onto the bed awkwardly. Robert glanced up at Aaron and saw that he was laughing.

They ended up lying face to face after they had cleaned up, their legs touching under the duvet.

Robert let his eyes roam the expanse of Aaron’s chest, admiring and hoping for a second round.

“Worth ditching the party?” he asked. Aaron had moaned enough that he knew he had enjoyed himself but Robert couldn’t help asking, needing to know that Aaron had felt the same as he did.

“Where’s your confidence gone?” Aaron quipped.

Robert let his finger trail over Aaron’s stomach, lightly grazing the skin and making Aaron’s muscles contract at the light touch.

“Nowhere…” Robert said, hiding a smile. “Standard customer service, this.”

“That was alright,” Aaron joked, mischief sparkling in his eyes.

“Alright?”

“Can’t stroke your ego too much, can I?” he asked.

Robert let his hand move down Aaron’s body, feeling the sweaty skin, dipping his fingers into every curve of Aaron’s back and arse. Aaron pressed his body closer, wound an arm around Robert’s waist.

“Give a guy a break, it’s nice to know that he fucked someone senseless.”

Aaron kissed him, deep and dirty and soon enough Robert felt himself stir under Aaron’s expert tongue. Aaron broke away and looked down at Robert’s growing erection, his eyes gleaming.

Aaron’s satisfied smile was something else: It was a small tug at the corners of his mouth that seemed incapable of falling to a frown, hair plastered to his forehead as they lay face-to-face, lips red from too much kissing, cheeks flushed and glowing. It was soft and ridiculously sexy and turned Robert’s insides to mush. It was seeing sunlight after a dark winter, like coming up for air after nearly drowning.

Robert trailed his hand along Aaron’s side, soft fingers trailing soft skin, close enough to feel Aaron’s body heat emanate from his skin and Robert knew that his smile was more dangerous than anything he had ever seen.

Aaron moved closer as Robert’s fingers drifted closer to his groin, touching the skin just enough to let Aaron know where his fingers were. Where they could go. His breath hitched as Robert moved along his length and Robert raised his eyebrow as he realised Aaron was getting hard again. Robert shifted down the bed until his face was aligned with Aaron’s impressive length, and he quickly took all of him into his mouth. He worked him until he was hard and then worked him while pressing a finger against Aaron’s hole. When he felt Aaron was close he pulled off and replaced his mouth with his hand, wanting to watch Aaron come apart at the seams. With deft fingers and a hand wrapped around Aaron’s cock he made him whimper, made his eyes flutter and his breathing become heavy. Aaron came again, his muscles contracting and his body shaking. Robert licked his lips at the sight.

Aaron glanced at him with dark eyes, looking down to see Robert leaking against the sheets. He wrapped his hand around him, pulling him slowly to an orgasm that had him moaning Aaron’s name and spilling across Aaron’s stomach. Robert was lost in Aaron’s hand, in the strong muscle of his shoulder and neck that Robert bit into, sucking a bruise that would definitely show in the morning. He realised when he came to that he didn’t want to be found.

The room smelled of sweat and sex and Aaron, and Robert knew his sheets would need changing but he didn’t care. He felt bone-deep satisfaction and yet when he looked at Aaron he knew he wanted more. They lay intertwined on the bed, breath tickling sweaty skin and completely unaware of the world around them. Robert was happy to drift off into sleep breathing it in, surrounded by Aaron and the warmth of his arms.

_Heat. Burning. Smoke filling the air, acrid smoke filling his lungs, screams of anguish more painful than the heat in his body filling his ears._

_“Robert get out, run!”_

_Cold hands on hot walls, searching for an exit._

_“I love you, you need to get out!”_

_Tears evaporating as they fall to the floor, eyes burning with them, his heart pounding in his chest._

_A beam falls down in front of him and it -_

Robert woke up to sweat on his forehead and an unfamiliar weight on his chest too reminiscent of the fire-engulfed place his mind had just been. He moved quickly, grabbed his briefs off the floor and moved out of Aaron’s grip into the bathroom, content to notice that Aaron was still sound asleep.

Cold water pulled him out of the smoke-filled haze in his mind, the memories that resurfaced in sleep often enough that he knew he would never forget them. He slowly dragged a towel across his face, eyes fixed on his own in the mirror. They were red as if from crying, eyes belonging more to a frightened child than a grown man and he stared at himself, staring down his fear even as his stomach churned.

It was so long ago and yet it still plagued him, causing fitful nights and awful mornings filled with too much coffee and too little food. Those days were the hardest, the ones where it started with fiery dreams and sweat-soaked sheets, the ones where he could hear her screaming for help.

He went back to bed when his eyes started looking like his own, when his skin no longer felt like it was burning. The sun was starting to rise as he lay down next to Aaron, carefully slipping under the duvet after discarding his briefs. Aaron looked gorgeous in the pre-dawn light - Robert was beginning to realise he looked gorgeous in any light at all.

Aaron shifted, realising his arm was resting on thin air, and Robert heard his breathing change as he woke up. He glanced at his arm and Robert’s tense shoulders and sighed.

“You want me to leave or summat?” Aaron spoke gruffly. Robert shook his head.

“Just needed the loo,” Robert lied smoothly. He was so used to lying it sounded almost like the truth. “Go back to sleep.”

Aaron nodded and Robert moved closer, trying to find comfort in the cold spot to which he had returned. Aaron pulled Robert close in a sleepy daze, laying his head on Robert’s shoulder and resting his arm across Robert’s stomach. The weight was grounding this time, a gentle touch that made him feel more at ease in his own body than he usually did after a nightmare. Robert lay his arm across Aaron’s and was lulled to sleep by the rhythm of Aaron’s breathing against his chest.

Despite his nightmare, Robert had been able to sleep quite well with Aaron beside him. When he woke up he felt refreshed, felt like the dream didn’t linger as much as it usually did. He glanced over at Aaron enjoyed their shared warmth and the peace in his features. Aaron was gorgeous, even more so in the morning light.

They ended up having breakfast together; Robert had enough food in the fridge to make them each an omelette and they ended up laying on the sofa sharing languid coffee-laced kisses. Aaron stayed longer than Robert thought was normal for just a one night stand and his stomach fluttered at the thought that maybe Aaron wanted this to be more as well.

“Food wasn’t all that bad,” Aaron mumbled against Robert’s lips.

“Now I know you’re lying,” Robert countered. “That omelette was amazing.”

“Sussed that out on your own did you?”

Robert hummed in agreement and caught Aaron’s bottom lip between his own.

Aaron pulled away and let his eyes drift to the clock on the wall. He groaned.

“I need to go,” he said against Robert’s lips.

Robert pulled him in and curled his tongue behind Aaron’s teeth before answering, drawing it out.

“Alright… will I see you again?” Robert’s nerves were obvious in the voice and Aaron grinned at him.

“Do you want to see me again?” he teased and Robert pressed a finger into his side, making him laugh.

“Yes,” he answered and Aaron’s laugh died immediately, replaced with a smile and a look that spoke volumes. “I need a repeat performance.”

Aaron cocked an eyebrow at him and gently pressed his hip against Robert’s. “Last night not enough for you?”

Robert shook his head and Aaron kissed his smile away.

“Not nearly enough,” Robert not-quite joked and Aaron pressed a kiss to his neck.

“I’m sore in all the right places.”

Robert heard a moan escape his lips at the words. “You can’t leave me like that,” Robert whimpered.

“Need to make sure you’ll call me, don’t I?”

Aaron grinned as he got up and walked to the kitchen. He opened a few drawers until he found a stack of post-its and a pen. He scribbled something down before he walked to the front door. Robert got up to follow. Robert pressed him against the door before he had a chance to open it, and Aaron made it out of the flat 20 minutes later, hair ruffled and eyes sparkling and leaving Robert with some serious beard-burn.

 

Robert made it to work Monday morning with a grin on his face that he couldn’t seem to shake, even though he knew he had to. It had clung to him all weekend, only made the more heartfelt with every text he exchanged with Aaron. It was where his mind went whenever it drifted: thinking about Aaron was becoming a constant.

“You alright?” Alicia asked as he made his way into his office.

“‘Course,” he replied, “why do you ask?” Alicia got up and followed him into his office, shutting the door behind her. She had a ridiculously large file in her hand that almost managed to wipe the smirk off Robert’s face. Almost.

“You’ve got something… on your face… right -” she indicated his smile and Robert laughed, “- there.”

“What? I’m smiling.”

“Exactly,” she countered, “you never smile this much, Robert, especially on a Monday. I’ve known you for a while now. So,” she sat down on his desk next to him and grinned at him, “spill.”

Robert flattened down his tie as he smirked, feigning nonchalance.

“Let’s say… I had a very satisfying weekend.”

Alicia’s eyes went wide and her grin grew.

“I knew it! Who’s the lucky person?” she asked and Robert leaned forward to tell her.

“I met a bloke Friday night. I’ve never seen an arse like his.”

She grinned at him and her eyes became slightly mischievous.

“Glad to hear it - I want the details later but for now, Mr Pearce is on his way,” she dropped the file down in front of him and it hit the table with a foreboding thud, “and he sounded livid.”

Robert gulped and opened the file.

It didn’t look good - it was an awkward case that Robert knew plagued his client to no end, and he knew he had to bring a new idea to the table and get Pearce what he wanted: his money back. Robert expected that in this meeting honesty was more important than the superficial. Robert checked his tie and forced himself to stop thinking of Aaron naked. He needed focus on Mr Pearce.

Mr Pearce was one of Robert’s most important clients. His business was extensive and being a lawyer for such a prominent businessman had given Robert the confidence to build his client-base. The fact that Mr Pearce was an arrogant, self-serving bastard only made Robert more adamant to keep him as a client - he wasn’t one you wanted to anger; that much was clear from the file that rested on Robert’s table. It contained countless reams of paperwork detailing his take-overs of other businesses, his salvaging attempts turned millionaire endeavours and Robert admired him for his ruthlessness. Today would be no different.

Mr Pearce stepped into Robert’s office at 10 o’clock on the dot. He wasn’t a tall man but his imposing air made his height irrelevant - his expensive pin-striped suit and even more expensive Rolex made anyone aware of his wealth in an instant. His upturned nose exposed his view of the world. Robert got up immediately and shook his hand, a quick, firm shake that Robert always thought of as more a power-struggle than anything else.

“Mr Sugden, I take it you are well?” Mr Pearce asked. His voice was lighter than expected and held an accent that made his education quite obvious.

“I am thank you, and you?” Robert replied.

“Well, apart from the business I’m here to discuss, I’m quite well thank you.” Mr Pearce opened his suit jacket and brushed back the sides before sitting down in the chair opposite Robert.

“I’ve just been going over your file and after sending off warnings, and receiving no response whatsoever, there is only one option to discuss,” Robert said, sitting down and opening the file. Mr Pearce sat silently and awaited Robert’s proposal. “If you wish to get your money back you need to declare him bankrupt.”

Robert pushed over the form they would have to fill out and Mr Pearce skimmed it before setting it down in front of him and eyeing Robert carefully.

“This is our only option?”

“He owes you over 100,000 pounds, and according to what you have told me, he owes a lot more to many others, none of whom are going to be paid back. He has made his bed and now he has to lie in it. Declaring him bankrupt will, of course, ruin his business prospects for the next few years and, depending on the extent of his debt, take away much of his valuable property.”

Pearce glanced at the paperwork again, this time in more detail.

“His father wouldn’t be pleased with my taking away his son’s company.”

Robert shrugged and leaned back in his chair.

“He clearly isn’t capable of building on his father’s empire if you have leant him this much and he has yet to succeed. If you want your money back, this is my suggestion.”

Mr Pearce thought for a while, his face betraying none of his inner struggle. Robert had never been able to tell what he was thinking.

“As a matter of principle I want my money back. I have only waited this long because of who his father was but if he were any businessman I would do it.” He got up and instinctively buttoned his suit jacket. “The time for courtesy is over. Get it done, Sugden.”

Robert nodded and got up, shaking Pearce’s hand before he left the office.

Robert made it home that night with little left of the day to enjoy and he what he usually did on those evenings; went home and watched some telly with some take-away. As he was sitting on the sofa having a beer, his phone went off and Aaron’s name flashed on the screen. Robert felt his lips tug into a smile.

_You busy?_

He set his beer down on a coaster before drying his fingertips on his trousers and replying.

_Relaxing after a hard day, why?_

He sent it off and felt his stomach flutter. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt such pure excitement at the prospect of a text but Aaron seemed to bring about entirely new experiences. When Aaron called him not two minutes later, Robert felt giddy, light-hearted. Robert was curled up on his sofa watching the evening news, his attention completely focussed on Aaron. It was ridiculous.

“Hi,” Aaron said when Robert picked up. The sound of Aaron’s voice immediately made him smile and he felt like an idiot for it.

“Hiya,” he replied. He placed his feet on the coffee table and rested his head on the sofa.

“Long day?”

Robert hummed in agreement. “Difficult client and a difficult case.”

“Sounds… difficult,” Aaron teased and Robert grinned.

“Yeah, only got back about an hour ago… how was your day?”

“Had a good day, yeah…” his voice trailed off. “Adam kept asking me what the mark on my neck was.”

“That still there?” Robert laughed.

“Yup, hasn’t disappeared. Only thing I need is for my uncle to see it tomorrow and the embarrassment will be complete.”

Robert picked up the remote control and switched off the TV altogether.

“I’m sorry -”

“Don’t be,” Aaron interjected. “I enjoyed it, remember?”

Robert nodded. “I definitely do.”

“So,” Aaron said. His voice was slightly distorted by Robert’s receiver but he hoped maybe the nervousness wasn’t a figment of his imagination. “I was thinking that we should see each other this weekend?”

“Like a date?” Robert asked playfully.

“Yeah,” Aaron replied, “like a date.”

“There’s a pub not far from mine if you’d like -”

Aaron chuckled down the line.

“I think I know the one you mean.” Robert could almost see the smile on Aaron’s voice in his head; that soft, all-encompassing grin that made his heart swell. “Think I saw you coming out of it once… with some bird?”

Robert put a hand over his eyes and groaned.

“I noticed you and immediately regretted finding her when I saw you walk in,” Robert admitted and Aaron laughed in his ear.

“Nothing to be embarrassed about, Robert.” The blush still rose to his cheeks, making him feel flushed and vulnerable. “Do you have time Saturday?” Aaron asked tentatively.

“I should do yeah - meet you at seven?”

Aaron took a minute before answering, as if the addition of a point in time somehow made the date more real.

“Sounds good.”

Aaron hung up and Robert stared at his phone, his heart thumping in his chest. This never happened. He met someone, they fucked once, and Robert had enough. The fake smiles and the inane conversation, the relentless mask he always had to maintain, it all made him just stop wanting them. Nothing about Aaron was boring however, and the flutter in his stomach and smile on his lips definitely weren’t fake.

It was unnerving but Robert didn’t want it to stop.

 

“Well, tell me about him then,” Vic said.

“Who?” Robert asked, feigning incredulity.

“The guy who has you smiling from ear to ear,” Vic countered and Robert felt himself blush.

“How do you know it’s a bloke?” Robert asked.

“I’m guessing - I figured it was the guy you’ve been mentioning for a while now…” At Robert’s sly smile she grinned. “I knew it! Tell me everything.”

“Nothing much to tell yet. I’ve seen him once…” Robert said.

“Oh come on, are you seeing him again?” Vic asked. Robert nodded and she yelped in delight. “I’m thrilled!”

Robert glared around the café and saw a few displeased students glare at them for her outburst.

“Look, I promise I’ll let you know how it goes, yeah?” Robert asked and Vic nodded.

“You had better. I haven’t seen you this happy in… ever. I have never seen you this happy.”

Robert wrapped a hand around his cup, eyes fixed on the saucer and couldn’t help but agree with her.

“Right - now for the real reason you asked me to come for a coffee?” Robert asked.

“Thought we could go and visit Mum together tomorrow?”

Robert smiled at her.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

 

The pub was quite full when Robert walked in and saw Aaron sitting at a table with his phone out, waiting. Robert offered to buy the first round and when he returned he placed the beers on the table and sat down opposite Aaron. It was a beer of Robert’s choosing - Belgian and quite strong but absolutely delicious. Award-winning in fact. Aaron looked at Robert with a raised eyebrow at the matching glass and bottle, but after he’d had a taste he didn’t complain.

“So,” Robert said, eyes fixed on Aaron’s face. His beard was trimmed, the gorgeous slight stubble that hardened his features but also softened by the curls resting on his head.

“So…” Aaron trailed off. He placed a hand on the table and Robert wondered if it was an open invitation. The softness of the light rendered Aaron’s features slightly golden, made his blue eyes darker and cast a shadow across his straight nose. “I would ask how you’ve been but -” Aaron gave a nervous laugh, “I think we’ve been talking pretty much the whole week?”

Robert felt a warmth spread in his chest, a nervousness that felt different to anything he had ever felt before. Aaron’s eyes met Robert’s under his lashes, hesitant and maybe even nervous too. Robert placed his hand on the table, saw Aaron’s eyes flicker to it, wanted to reach out and touch him. It had been too long since he had touched Aaron - now that he knew what it felt like he never wanted to stop.

“I’m almost impressed we haven’t run into each other the past week,” Robert joked. Its effect was a smile tugging at Aaron’s lips, a slight release of breath, an almost laugh.

“I’ve had a weird week,” Aaron said, “late shifts at work…”

Aaron’s voice trailed off as Robert moved his hand, placed it gently next to Aaron’s, let their fingers brush against each other. Robert’s breath hitched at the heat that flowed through him, the pounding of his heart in his chest. Robert didn’t know if it was a trick of the light but Aaron looked slightly flushed.

“Where do you work?” Robert asked.

Aaron’s eyes were gleaming in the dampened light, flickering between Robert’s face and their hands on the table. His other hand was scratching into the label on the bottle absentmindedly.

“I’m a firefighter,” Aaron replied. “I work at the fire station on Park Road.”

“That explains the extensive work-out regimen and the irregular hours.”

Aaron nodded. “It’s not easy work but I love it. Plus my uncle runs the station and a lot of the other blokes are good friends of mine.” Aaron’s hand stopped moving on the bottle.

“One of them lives in my building I’m guessing?” Robert asked.

“A few of them, actually…” Aaron said and eyed Robert curiously. “So you’re a -”

“Solicitor,” Robert finished. “It’s difficult and tough - I work long hours and it’s hard work.” Aaron nodded, fingers moving up to hold onto Robert’s, sliding between his fingers. Robert’s hands were soft from years of sitting behind a desk and feeling Aaron’s calloused and rough hands against his was making his throat tight with want, making him remember those hands clutching at his thighs. He swallowed as his eyes held Aaron’s. “These really are things we should’ve talked about before…”

“What, before we had sex?” Aaron’s bluntness made Robert laugh.

“Yeah,” Robert conceded, breath hitching between laughs, “maybe.”

“Well, we were busy doing other things… plus it’s all part of getting to know each other.”

Robert felt Aaron squeeze his hand and felt the heat travel through his arm.

“True.”

Their eyes met and Robert revelled in it, his smile faltering as he just looked; at the uninhibited smile on Aaron’s lips, at the way the light changed his features. It was breathtaking. Aaron lifted an eyebrow, challenging, expectant. Robert never wanted it to end.

“Want to get some food or summat?” Aaron asked.

Robert thought of the night they had, the warmth in his chest, the flutter in his albeit hungry stomach. It felt like too much too quickly, felt like Aaron was slowly working his way into Robert’s mind in a way Robert never expected.

“Sure.” Robert looked around for a menu and Aaron raised an eyebrow.

“What, here?” Aaron asked. “Thought maybe pub food was beneath you.”

“You can be beneath me later if you’d like…” Robert joked.

“Depends on how good the burger is.”

Robert snorted and snatched a menu from the nearest empty table.

Aaron’s bluntness was disarming, drawing him out until Robert felt naked in front of him, despite wearing a quite expensive suit. He couldn’t lie to him, couldn’t shy away from the excitement that fluttered in his chest as they talked, as everything Aaron said made Robert want to hear more.

The burger was followed by a few beers and before Robert knew it it was closing time. Aaron pulled him outside, kissed him until his skin burned and his chest ached. Robert dragged him home, pulled him into the lift by the hand and didn’t let go.

 

Robert’s day was turning out to be surprisingly short; he had filed the paperwork for Pearce and only had one other client to deal with about a standard business contract so he found himself able to leave work early. Robert hadn’t seen Aaron for three days and he was afraid to admit it but he missed him. With a smile and a slight nervous tremble in his fingers, he took out his phone and sent a text.

_Meet me for a coffee on High Street?_

Robert let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. His heart was beating and his palms were slightly sweaty. They had seen each other two or three times a week for a few weeks now and Robert was becoming so used to seeing Aaron but he knew there was someone he needed him to meet.

_Miss me that much already?_

Robert grinned at the reply when it came.

 _Something like that…_ _meet at five at the café we both go to?_

_Look forward to it._

Robert arrived first, found a table in the corner and placed his phone on the table. He waited to order anything before he realised he didn’t know Aaron’s usual coffee order; it was another one of those things he looked forward to finding out about Aaron.

He came in a couple of minutes later, wearing his station t-shirt and a pair of slacks that usually meant he was coming straight from work. His face lit up as he spotted Robert and he immediately made his way over.

“Hiya,” he said before he pressed a kiss to Robert’s cheek and sat down.

“Hi,” Robert replied. The table was tiny and round making it impossible for their legs not to meet under it. Not that Robert was complaining. Aaron seemed to always be a few degrees warmer than Robert and he felt the difference as soon as they touched.

“Weird we’ve never been in here together before,” Aaron said. “I mean you work so close by, and we both love coffee.” Robert swallowed before meeting Aaron’s eye.

“Yeah… well I wanted to wait a bit. My sister works here.”

At that, Aaron’s eyebrows shot up and his expression grew amused.

“You want to introduce me?” Aaron asked.

Robert blushed and nodded. Aaron bit his lip.

“Only if you’re okay with it - we’ve been seeing each other for a while now and I figured she should meet the guy I’ve been going on about.”

Aaron smiled at his words, rested his arms on the table and bit his lip; Robert couldn’t help glance down and want to do the same.

“This is Victoria, right?” Robert nodded and Aaron shrugged. “Well, I’d love to meet her.”

Robert grinned and placed a hand on Aaron’s arm, trying to convey what he could only think of as pride.

“Want a coffee?” he asked.

“Black,” was all Aaron said before Robert got up and made his way to the till.

Finn greeted him as soon as he saw him, eyes smiling and almost too searching. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose before he gave Robert a small wave.

“Hi Robert, the usual?”

Robert smiled back and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“Yes please, and a black coffee.”

Finn looked over Robert’s shoulder and found the table at which Aaron was sitting. Finn’s expression was one of surprise, and his usually flirty demeanour changed. He almost looked dejected.

“Ah,” was all he muttered, “right, two coffees coming up…”

Robert waited patiently as Finn worked but Finn looked over his shoulder and shrugged.

“I’ll bring them down for you, if you’d like,” he suggested.

“Thanks, Finn, that’s very kind of you! Oh, and will you tell Vic I’m here?” Finn nodded and Robert placed the money on the counter. “Cheers.” He grabbed a sugar packet on his way back and placed it on the table as he sat down.

“What, they didn’t have any more coffee?” Aaron joked as he saw Robert’s meagre offering.

“Benefit of knowing the people who work here, the coffees are being brought to us.”

“By that bloke was clearly flirting with you?” Aaron countered and Robert rolled his eyes.

“Finn is innocent,” he said. Aaron shrugged and Robert placed a hand on his thigh, squeezing. “You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Aaron smiled, pressed his leg closer to Robert’s.

“I didn’t think I did.”

“Ahem.”

Robert looked up and saw Vic standing with her hands on her hips, scowling at him. He hadn’t even noticed her approach.

“Vic,” he said, getting up and giving her a hug.

“Glad I could catch your attention,” she joked as Robert sat down. She looked at Aaron and smiled, holding out her hand. “You must be Aaron?”

“Nice to meet you Victoria,” Aaron said.

“Call me Vic, please.” She grabbed a nearby chair and pulled it over to join them. “I’ve heard so much about you from Robert, glad he finally decided to introduce us. Glad to finally meet someone who can stand my brother.”

Aaron chuckled and Robert put his face in his hands.

“Thanks for that Vic,” Robert said and Aaron placed his hand on Robert’s. The effect was immediate, a shared smile that seemed to ignore the rest of the world entirely, melting Robert’s insides and making him ignore Vic completely.

“So,” she interrupted, “did you come here straight from work?”

Aaron pulled his eyes away from Robert.

“Yeah, we had a training day with some of the new equipment we received. I’m a firefighter.”

Vic’s eyebrows rose and she shot Robert a pointed look. “Robert didn’t mentioned that you work at a fire station. Surely, that would be something to mention to your sister? Especially considering Mum -”

Robert saw Finn on his way with the coffees and took the chance to interrupt her.

“Thanks, Finn! Want anything Vic?” Vic rolled his eyes but shook her head at his offer. She looked over at Aaron who was putting sugar in his coffee.

“Well, it sounds really interesting! I hope you’re staying safe.”

Robert felt a lump form in his throat, felt his chest become heavy.

“Yeah, we have excellent protective gear and only last week we had a big call-out, a flat caught fire while the residents were asleep but we’re a great team and we take care of each other…”

“You had an incident last week?” Robert asked, and he thought his voice sounded hoarse. “You didn’t tell me…”

Aaron cocked an eyebrow and shrugged.

“Not that big a deal, is it?” Aaron asked and Robert hoped his smile was convincing.

“No, of course not.”

Vic looked at Robert and Robert knew she would see his fear, hear it in his voice. As long as Aaron didn’t.

“You work nights as well then?” she asked.

“Yeah, once a week at least… it’s not easy but we all do it.” Aaron replied. “It’s not the easiest job but I enjoy it.” His sincerity was apparent and Vic nodded in reply.

“I guess I feel the same about becoming a nurse - it won’t be easy but I know I’ll love every day of it.”

Aaron smiled at her and nodded. They seemed to be getting along and that was all that mattered. The dread in Robert’s stomach lingered and he drank his coffee in silence while Aaron and Vic chatted away. When the coffees were empty Robert suggested Aaron go back with him, and Vic said goodbye with an approving smile.

They spent the evening at Robert’s place as they did most nights for privacy’s sake - having a roommate didn’t exactly mean they could do what they wanted at Aaron’s.

Robert was bent over the stove cooking a pasta dish for Aaron when he felt hands wrap around his waist from behind, felt Aaron place his chin on Robert’s shoulder.

“Think she liked me?” he asked, voice soft and just loud enough to be heard over the onions sizzling in the pan.

“Yeah,” Robert said, setting down the wooden spoon and turning around to wrap his arms around Aaron. “I can tell she did.”

“Right,” Aaron said. “It’s just, you two shared a look and I thought maybe there was something wrong?”

Robert chuckled and pulled him closer, pressed a kiss to his soft lips.

“Nah, she’s just looking out for me. I’ve not had a lot of relationships and I think she feels like she has to look out for me…”

“Should I be worried?” Aaron asked. He grinned and Robert’s heart fluttered.

“About a small English woman? Nah, I think not.” Aaron rolled his eyes. “I like you. She likes you. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Aaron bit his lip in silent contemplation and Robert pressed his lips to Aarons so he could take over, taking Aaron’s soft bottom lip between his own teeth. The onions burned slightly but it didn’t matter. The food was good and they quickly made it to the bedroom. The bed was warm and sweaty by the time they were done with each other, sore and aching and completely satisfied. Aaron fell asleep before Robert and he couldn’t resist just staring at his peaceful face, overwhelmed by the happiness that flooded him, drifting off with the memory of Aaron’s lips on his skin.

_Heat._

_It always starts with heat. It is the first thing he notices before his surroundings materialise. Heat; unbearable, punishing, all-consuming. It is singeing his hair, burning off the short blond hairs on his arm as he reaches out._

_“Robert, get out, please!”_

_The voice is filled with fear and Robert freezes. He always freezes._

_“I love you, Robert, you need to get out!”_

_The high-pitched voice is coming from the next room and if only Robert could make it there, if only he was impervious to fire._

_He tried to shout but his voice is hoarse with smoke and screaming._

_A beam falls and -_

Robert woke up with sweat pouring down his face and he threw off the sleep-warm cover, feeling suffocated by the warmth that had hours before felt so comforting. Any warmth was too much for him to handle right now.

“Robert?” The voice was small and sleep-laced but very clear. Robert sighed internally; he’d woken Aaron.

“Sorry, I -” Robert started but didn’t know how to continue.

“I heard you… nightmare?” Aaron asked softly and Robert placed his face in his hands. The soft light of the streetlamps illuminated Aaron’s body as he sat up, the duvet sliding down his chest and resting on his hips. He put an arm around Robert’s shoulder, not even flinching at the clammy skin, drawing Robert closer and comforting him. “It’s okay.”

Robert nodded, sighed. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

“It’s not your fault,” Aaron said as if Robert had spoken aloud.

“Give me a few minutes, yeah?”

Aaron agreed without hesitation, gave Robert the space he needed. Robert found his briefs on the floor and tugged them on quickly, cotton sticking to the damp skin of his thighs. He got up, felt the muscles in his legs work, felt a lingering ache from last night as he walked to the bathroom and flipped the switch. The light was harsh and made him squint at the mirror and it took a while for his eyes to adjust.

His hair was a mess, sweat-slick and ruffled from sleep but the worst of all were his eyes, his haggard expression. Weariness seeped into his every bone. He splashed some cold water onto his face, hoping it would wash away the smoke that he knew wasn’t there.

Five minutes passed and yet the man in the mirror looked no more calm for the time he had tried to force himself to relax. The door clicked open and Aaron walked in, squinting like Robert did at the lamp from above the mirror. He stood behind Robert, wrapped his arms around him, pressed a kiss to his shoulder blade. He barely reached above Robert’s shoulder and it made Robert smile to see it, despite everything.

“You alright?”

Robert froze at the question, knew the answer he was going to say was as far from the truth as anything could be. But he had to lie. It was too early, too much for Robert to deal with, and Aaron would run screaming. Their eyes met in the mirror and Robert forced a smile.

“Yeah, I’m alright.”

Aaron held his gaze, daring him, almost challenging him to say something else, to speak the truth. When Robert made no move to reply he sighed, pulling Robert’s back closer to his chest and resting his cheek on Robert’s back.

“Tell me when you’re ready.”

 

_What are you doing later?_

Robert sent off the text hoping to be able to spend an evening with Aaron but when the reply came back, he felt his stomach churn.

_Working, why?_

He froze, read it over and over again without a notion of time. Another message clocked in.

_Robert, why do you ask?_

Robert stared at the phone, panic building in his chest. He kept seeing orange flames, kept feeling inexplicably warm, kept feeling a knot in his stomach and each second made it grow larger.

_Wanted to see you. We’ll do it some other night, yeah?_

He sent the text but immediately sent off another.

_Take care._

The knot in his stomach didn’t leave, not as he made dinner, not as he read his book. He couldn’t look at his phone, fear coursing through him that maybe the next message he would receive would be about Aaron. Aaron hurt. Aaron in pain. Aaron… he couldn’t think it.

He went to bed early, hoping the comfort of his duvet would soothe his stress and before long he drifted off into fitful sleep.

_Hot._

_It is unbearably hot and Robert knows from the orange glow of the source that there isn’t much changing it._

_“Robert get out, run!”_

_The words are the same but the voice is different, the voice is deeper, belongs to someone who shouldn’t - he shouldn’t be here._

_“Robert, you need to get out!”_

_The wooden floor starts sizzling as the water evaporates and Robert felt a fresh pain, a pain that floods his mind and makes his knees weak. No, he thinks, no, no no …_

_“Aaron!”_

_The breaking of burning wood and a scream -_

Robert awoke with a start, nausea flooding him and he got up. His knees were weak and yet he ran to the bathroom. He managed to catch the toilet-bowl before he started retching, emptying the contents of his heaving stomach. The cool porcelain was like ice on his burning skin, soothing away some of the pain that just minutes ago had seemed so real. He leaned against the wall when his stomach settled, his sweat-soaked back sticking to the tiles and his briefs shielding at least some of him from the cold floor. Counting slowly in his head he tried to calm his breathing, tried to make his lungs realise the air they breathed wasn’t laced with acrid smoke.

The voice kept pulling him back in, kept the pain fresh like an open wound in his chest. The pain hadn’t been enough to mask who it was.

Aaron.

He shouldn’t - Robert shuddered at the nightmare, felt his stomach almost turn again but kept his breathing steady. His heart was hammering in his chest and his palms were sweaty and he couldn’t _think straight_ with that voice, the anguish that pierced his ears as he had cried out.

Robert rested his head against his knees, pulled his legs close and hugged them closer to his body, forcing himself to calm down. Nothing like that would happen.

_You okay?_

He sent the text off almost before he knew he had done it. He looked at the time and sighed as he saw 2:37 on the screen.

_I’m fine, lying in bed. Why are you texting at half 2 in the morning?_

Robert let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding and sent off a short reply.

_Couldn’t sleep._

Aaron was fine.

Aaron was fine.

He lay back down and hoped he could find some peace in the remaining hours of the night. Just as he was about to drift off his phone vibrated.

_Are you okay?_

Robert stared at the words and couldn’t make himself lie.

He made it out of his flat after some rest and feeling slightly more human; brushing his teeth and washing the smoke off his skin made a difference but he still felt hollow, like a part of him had been swallowed by his memories. He ordered a coffee from Finn and when he offered to fetch Victoria, Robert shook his head.

 

The dream was more frequent now.

Aaron kept texting him, asking if he wanted to see him, if he was okay, asking why he hadn’t heard from him. Robert felt fear course through his body with every new message.

It was too much.

He couldn’t.

_Flames. Burning. Screaming._

He shook his head, trying to shake the memories out of it but he couldn’t. They had found new perch in his mind, new ground on which to sow fear and fuel his insomnia. His eyes were red from a lack of sleep and whenever he spoke his voice sounded hoarse in his ears, like he had been screaming.

Vic eyed him suspiciously every time he went to the café, saw his haggard expression and the bags under his eyes but he dismissed her concerned questions.

His phone rang just as he sat down with a beer.

Aaron.

He didn’t answer.

 

“Rob, I’m worried about ya.”

They were having dinner together and Robert was barely touching it.

“Why?” he asked.

“You’re not sleeping well, you’re barely eating… you haven’t mentioned Aaron in weeks. Everything alright between you two?”

Robert flinched at her words.

Aaron had stopped calling, stopped trying to reach out, and at this point Robert didn’t know whether his insomnia was a result of his nightmares or his regret.

“We’re not seeing each other anymore…” Robert admitted and Vic set down her fork with a loud clang.

“Why not?”

Robert’s shoulders slumped and he ran a hand over his face. His head was filled with nightmares and pain and Aaron had made him briefly feel alive. Anger rose in him when he realised that the only reason why they weren’t seeing each other was him.

“What happened?” Vic said, her voice softer.

“I couldn’t handle it, Vic.” He spoke louder than he meant to and she stared at him, eyes filled with kindness. “I was so worried I couldn’t sleep, I had nightmares almost every night but they changed, and now it’s Aaron who is trapped, Aaron I’m losing.”

The admission was liberating. Vic placed a hand on his arm.

“Why didn’t you tell him?”

“I felt like an idiot… a grown man scared of sleeping? I was so worried every time he went to work, it made me terrified… I just couldn’t do it. I’m a mess, Vic.”

Vic got up and hugged him, held his head to her stomach until breathing didn’t feel so hard.

“You need to talk to someone about this. It’s not just something you get over, and Aaron made you really happy.” Robert nodded against her stomach. “Maybe you should call your counsellor again.”

Maybe he should.

 

The room was filled with soft sofas and comforting artwork. Classical music played from small speakers situated in each corner of the ceiling, loud enough to be heard but not so loud as to drown out Robert’s nervousness at being here. Back here.

His leg jumped as he waited, hands fidgeting in his lap and eyes staring at his shoes.

He had been here many times before but he hadn’t been back in a while. _Too long,_ whispered a voice in his head and he shook it off.

The door to the office opened and Robert’s counsellor stepped out, looking as she always did. Sure, helpful, and professional.

“Robert, good to see you again,” she said. Robert got up and dried his palms on his trousers.

“You too,” he said and walked inside.

The door cut off all remnants of music from the waiting room and Robert walked over to the sofa and sat down.

“It’s been a while, I don’t know if I should be glad to be back,” he admitted.

“It’s always good to come back, means you want to get better.” She smiled at him and he took a deep breath. “Why are you here Robert?”

She had a kind face and he’d almost missed it but he knew he hadn’t needed her in years. Until now.

“I’ve not been sleeping,” he admitted, staring at his hands in his lap. “The memories are coming back more often now, nightmares and the smell of smoke filling my head.”

She placed a glass of water in front of him on the table.

“What do you think brought it on?”

Straight to the point.

Robert took a deep breath and sighed, hands fidgeting and head ringing.

“I started seeing someone… Aaron.” He paused and she let him. “He’s a firefighter… at first it didn’t bother me but then… whenever he went to work I had this knot in my stomach, I started having that nightmare but instead of her it was him screaming for me to get out, him in pain…”

He met her eye and saw no pity, not like when Victoria looked at him, and it was soothing.

“So the trauma from losing your mother in a fire as a teenager has been transferred to a fear of losing him in a similar fashion?” Robert nodded. “That’s perfectly normal, Robert. Your subconscious is trying to warn you of potential danger and hurt, and considering his occupation this is a reasonable fear. This Aaron must be someone you didn’t want to lose.” Robert nodded again. “Have you talked to him? Told him what happened?”

Robert ran a hand over his head.

“I was too scared… It was so long ago, I thought I was over it.”

She handed him a tissue and only then did he notice he was crying.

“No one just gets over losing a parent, particularly not like you did.”

“I just couldn’t tell him… I haven’t spoken to him in weeks, he’s stopped calling and I miss him, but I’m terrified…”

The pattern of the carpet caught his eye and he took a few deep breaths, trying to sort through the myriad of emotions in his head.

“Robert, you can’t run from this, especially if he is someone you care about. Talk to him. Explain what happened. You were worried about telling your sister once, and then you told her and it has made you even closer. You say you miss Aaron and you clearly care about him. Do you want a future with him?" Robert nodded. “Then you should tell him. As a firefighter he should understand, should know what it's like for someone who's experienced what you have.”

Robert’s hands were fidgeting and that knot in his stomach was making him feel nauseated. He remembered telling Vic, the shock and pity, and he didn’t want that from Aaron. "So you think he'll understand?"

“About the nightmares? Almost certainly.” Her certainty was disarming. He wished he could be that certain about anything.

“What if it's too much? What if he can't deal with it? What if it changes everything?”

“You won't know until you try. The question is, do you want to try?”

Robert swallowed hard, staring at his hands that had now gone still in his lap. He nodded and felt resolve build within him. He didn’t want to feel like this anymore. He looked up and met her eyes, kind and smiling.

"Then tell him. I also think you should come back, have a few more sessions. Whatever happens with Aaron this has stirred up memories that we shouldn’t let fester."

 

He tried the next morning while waiting in line at the coffee shop. His finger rested over the call button and he chewed his lip trying to decide what to say, trying to postpone what he knew wasn’t going to be a pleasant experience.

He pressed the button and placed his phone to his ear.

Each ring made him more nervous, anxious for Aaron to pick up and terrified of what would happen if he did. The ringing went on and on until it cut off and went to voicemail.

Robert sighed and opened his messages, sending a text instead.

_Aaron, I’m sorry. Please call? I can explain._

He scrolled up through Aaron’s countless messages and felt even worse, felt sick with regret. He had to try and make it right.

 

Leyla and Alicia stared at him as he entered the office, tie askew and shirt rumpled. He hadn’t slept more than a few hours and it wasn’t even because of a nightmare; it was the hole in his stomach that never seemed to disappear, his hollow chest and his regret that kept him awake this time.

“You sure you’re alright?” Alicia asked.

Robert didn’t even deign to answer - he clearly wasn’t. He went into his office and they both followed, concern etched on their faces.

“You need to do something Rob,” Leyla said, sitting down in his chair normally used for clients.

“There’s nothing for me to do - I messed up and he won’t take my calls. I just need to move on.”

Alicia sat on the edge of his desk and gave him a sympathetic smile. He looked away, anger bubbling to the surface. He didn’t deserve anyone’s sympathy. He had run away and he deserved the misery he had caused.

“Robert, if you want him back so badly go talk to him.”

His empty stomach flipped at the suggestion, fear coursing through his veins. He shook his head meekly. She looked at her watch and shrugged.

“You know, today’s a pretty slow day isn’t it Leyla?”

She shot her a confused glance but quickly caught on.

“Yeah, really slow… I’ve had one phone call so far -”

“It’s nine in the morning, of course it’s been slow…” Robert began but was cut off by Alicia.

“Maybe if someone were to leave for an important visit to someone _important_ , say over lunch,” she nudged Robert’s thigh with her shoe, “then maybe we would be able to cover for him until he came back.”

Leyla nodded a bit too vigorously and Robert laughed.

“There you go, I haven’t seen you smile for weeks!” Alicia grinned at him.

“You need to do something Robert. You can’t go on like this, you seem miserable... Isn’t he worth it?” Leyla said.

Robert knew the answer, felt the certainty of it weigh heavily on his mind. Aaron was what he wanted and it had never stopped, not for one second. What kept him up at night was the prospect of Aaron not wanting the same. He spoke and knew that he had to act. “Yeah, he is worth it.”

Alicia clapped her hands and jumped off the desk. “Right, you have a meeting at 10 but go home afterwards and change because that shirt is simply not what you should be wearing to get him back. Put on your dark blue suit and that pink shirt and go over there and fight for him, yeah?”

Leyla nodded in agreement and smiled.

“We’ll hold down the fort until you’re back, I promise.”

Something blossomed in Robert’s chest, a small spark of hope that couldn’t be quenched, not until he at least tried talking to Aaron. He smiled at them and nodded.

“Alright, I’ll do it.”

The meeting took longer than he expected and he was barely concentrating by the end of it, too nervous at the thought of seeing Aaron, of talking to Aaron, to keep track of market shares and business proposals. When he made it home it was past 12 and he showered and changed as quickly as he could.

He took a last look in the mirror and made sure no hair was out of place when his eyes fell on his whiskey collection. There, at the front of the shelf, was the bottle Aaron had brought with him all those nights ago, nicked from some friend to bring up here. Robert had yet to meet that friend but he had to either thank him for letting Aaron leave or apologise for him stealing the whiskey.

His mind inevitably went back to Aaron; to nervous smiles and frantic kisses, to Aaron’s head resting softly on the pillow, to all the mornings they spent together, to Robert letting him go and how empty he felt without it. It had never felt like a one night thing, not from that first kiss where Robert knew he had wanted more. His chest expanded at the memory, a warmth and certainty he hadn’t been able to place until now.

Robert couldn’t pinpoint the moment he had fallen for Aaron but it was laced in every moment they had shared. It had all started that night. He grabbed the bottle and found two plastic cups before he darted out of the front door and made his way to Aaron.

The station was a large brick building with large open garage doors behind which their fire engines were maintained. Robert had been here briefly a few times, had dropped Aaron off on a late shift or met him after work, and never thought of the building as looming. It was now, big and threatening and Robert almost walked away.

He walked up to the entrance and looked inside until he caught the eye of a tall man with dark, greying hair and stubble, wearing the uniform of someone on duty. He eyed Robert suspiciously from the get go, walked up to him with his arms crossed over his chest, wearing the same t-shirt that Robert had seen Aaron wear on several occasions.

“I’m Cain, I’m the chief at this station… Can I help you with something?”

Robert swallowed. Cain Dingle was not dissimilar to Aaron, but the similarity did not lie with his features but with his demeanour; the stern glance, the clenched jaw, the cold stare, and most of all, the determination.

“I’m looking for Aaron… Aaron Dingle?” Robert asked.

The man’s smile was disapproving, tight-lipped and clearly not amused by Robert showing up at a fire station with a bottle of whiskey at two in the afternoon. His hair was speckled with grey but he bore it well. With a dangerous gleam in his eye Robert thought he looked at if he might blow a fuse at any moment.

“Why are you looking for my nephew?” he asked.

“I just need to talk to him…” Robert looked over his shoulder and caught Adam’s eye. “Adam!”

Adam looked around before sauntering over and standing shoulder to shoulder with Cain.

“You looking to be punched or something?” Adam asked and Robert sighed.

“Just let me talk to him, yeah?”

“This Robert?” Cain asked, eyeing Robert with even more contempt than before.

“Mhmm,” Adam replied, crossing his arms and meeting Robert’s gaze. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough?”

They were intimidating, broad-shouldered and clearly protective of Aaron but Robert was desperate.

“I need to talk to him, to make things right. I was an idiot -”

“You can say that again,” Adam mumbled under his breath. “What are you doing bringing booze? Not exactly the grand gesture is it?”

“I don’t even know why I brought this but I thought it would make him realise that I fell for him the first night we met. I kept the bottle because it means a lot to me - he means a lot to me. I just… I love him, Adam, and I need to try and make this right.”

“You what?”

Aaron’s voice drifted from within the station and Robert froze. He wore the same uniform Cain and Adam did; beige trousers with a dark blue t-shirt and black suspenders. It looked criminally good on him. He still had his stubble, still had his calm blue eyes, but the smile Robert had come to associate with him was gone - in its place was a tight set frown, as much protection as his trousers were.

Cain looked over his shoulder and caught Aaron’s eye: “You alright?”

“Don’t need my bodyguards just yet,” Aaron joked unsmiling and Cain and Adam dispersed. Not before Adam gave Robert a once-over that made his eyes fall to the floor. The ground felt like liquid under Robert’s feet and his knees felt unsteady.

“What are you doing here Robert?” Aaron asked. His arms were crossed and he looked tense, even tired.

Robert took a deep breath and suddenly felt the idiocy of his actions.

“I wanted to talk to you, I -” he stopped, lifting the bottle and two cups he had in his hand. “I realise now that this is completely inappropriate at two in the afternoon but I had to bring something and I didn’t think flowers would do it.”

Aaron shuffled on his feet. He glanced down at the bottle and raised his eyebrows in scrutiny. When he didn’t reply Robert took the chance to continue.

“I was an idiot; I got scared and I freaked out and I’m sorry. I miss you so much, if you could consider it I would love to take you out and I’ll explain everything, I promise. I want you in my life, I want you to meet my friends and my Mum and I -” Robert paused. His speech felt woefully inadequate as he stood in front of Aaron but he didn’t know how else to say it. He glanced at Aaron and knew him well enough to see his features had softened slightly, his eyes most of all. “I miss you, Aaron.”

Aaron swallowed, stance unchanging. Robert’s heart pounded in his chest, his eyes silently pleading. Aaron shuffled on his feet before speaking.

“Did you mean what you said? To Adam just before?” Aaron’s voice was softer now and Robert lowered his voice to match.

“Yes… I meant every word.”

Aaron bit his lip and nodded. Robert missed those lips, their softness against his skin, between his teeth, on his mouth. His eyes couldn’t help but rest there, longing building inside him but when Aaron spoke Robert’s eyes went back up to meet his.

“You saved that bottle?”

Robert nodded. The result was the smallest tug at the corner of Aaron’s mouth, small enough that Robert almost didn’t believe it was there.

“I’m so sorry, Aaron. I needed you to know how much you mean to me, please let me explain,” Robert pleaded. All the truths he had realised were now screaming to be voiced, to be heard. He needed to tell him everything.

“Text me tonight okay?” Aaron said. “I’m busy now but… we can talk. Maybe meet up.”

Robert smiled as Aaron’s words sunk in, as relief flooded him. He took a deep breath and the sudden rush of oxygen made him feel lightheaded, like it was the first proper breath he had taken in weeks.

“I will, Aaron… Thank you,” Robert took a step forward and Aaron took one back, a hand in front of him.

“Don’t thank me yet. We’ll talk, and then we’ll have to see, okay?”

Robert swallowed and nodded, his new-found joy started evaporating slowly. Still, there was a chance.

“You’re giving me a chance, that’s all I could ever have wanted.”

Robert left the fire station with the bottle still in his hand, more determined than he had been in a long time. His hollow chest was filled with something akin to hope and he couldn’t wipe the smile from his face as he walked home and placed the bottle on his whiskey shelf.

Aaron’s texts had never been wordy, and they certainly weren’t now. In as few words as possible Aaron agreed to meet Robert the following afternoon. Robert went to bed early, hoping the extra time in bed would result in being better rested but his night was fitful and his brain wouldn’t shut off.

 

Friday morning came and Robert couldn’t think of anything but his meeting with Aaron later. With a quick call to his office he decided to try and work from home, if his brain would allow it, until he was supposed to meet Aaron in the park at four. Robert had never felt more nervous in his life. He went to the gym, hoping he could take some of his frustration out on the treadmill but it didn’t work; his nerves were ever-preset. By the time he had to leave his flat it was the certainty of seeing Aaron that made him feel a semblance of calm.

He went past Vic’s on his way there and bought them both coffees. Aaron wore his uniform t-shirt and a pair of jeans and sat waiting patiently on a bench when Robert came up to him and sat down.

“Black, one sugar…” Robert said, handing Aaron his cup and perceiving a ghost of a smile as their fingers brushed. Robert sat down next to him, clutching his americano between his hands for warmth even though it was a beautiful summer day.

“Thanks,” Aaron muttered. He winced slightly at the first sip, blue eyes fixed on a point ahead of him and not on Robert. “You wanted to talk?”

“Yeah… I don’t know how to say this…” He glanced over at Aaron who seemed impatiently waiting his explanation, so he cleared his throat and started talking.

“My Mum died in a fire when I was 14.” He felt Aaron’s eyes on him, kept his eyes focused on something else. “We lived on a farm and one night I woke up to the smell of smoke and this burning heat. I started waking everyone up and Dad ran out immediately to check on the livestock. He managed to get out before the fire really took hold and Mum told me to go and get Vic, to take her out. As soon as Vic was out safely I ran back inside and realised Mum was trapped upstairs. I don’t know what she was doing but she hadn’t made it out in time.

“I ran up and saw her trapped behind a wall of fire and as I tried to get to her a beam fell in front of me. I tried my best to get to her, to get her to safety, but the fire had spread too quickly. Old electric wiring had started the initial flames and it was an old building, most of the foundation was dry wood, it caught fire immediately. I couldn’t save her.”

“Robert I’m sorry.”

Robert swallowed hard and took a sip of his coffee.

“I hated my dad for years, leaving to check on our property instead of getting her out. I hated not knowing what made her stay when she could have made it to safety… I left home as soon as I could and didn’t speak to Vic for years. We only got back in touch when I went to his funeral.

“I keep getting these nightmares, reliving that night, hearing her -” he cut himself off, feeling his pain bubbling to the surface, not wanting to relive it in front of Aaron, not now. “I started seeing you and when I found out what you did for a living I got so terrified of losing you. The nightmare started being more frequent, started changing so I heard your screams instead of hers…”

Aaron placed a hand on his knee and squeezed.

“I didn’t know how to tell you, I feel so stupid, it’s been 16 years and I still can’t let it go.”

His chin trembled and he took a few deep breaths, trying to calm down.

“Thank you,” Aaron said, “for telling me.” Robert met his eye and nodded. “I’m sorry you couldn’t tell me before…”

“I’m so sorry Aaron… I felt like an idiot for being scared but then I realised how much I missed you and -”

“Hey,” Aaron cut him off, hand still on Robert’s leg, “I’m glad you came and talked to me.”

“I thought by letting you go I would be better off, that it would make the nightmares go away… I’m sick of being trapped in flames but it didn’t help, it only made it worse. I just missed you, felt awful without you and I still worry about you.” Robert wiped away a tear that was making its way down his cheek with his sleeve and stared at his coffee. It took him a while to suppress his grief but after a few deep breaths he felt calmer. The truth was out and Aaron was still there. “I used to have them once a month but now it’s almost every night… I’m exhausted.” He gave a melancholy chuckle and Aaron squeezed his leg.

“Look… if you don’t mind, would you like to come and see my Mum?” He looked up at Aaron and saw realisation dawn, his mouth opening in surprise. “She’s buried not far from here… I try to visit once a week but lately it’s been too hard and I -”

Aaron cut him off with a gesture, smiled at him and took away some of his pain.

“I’d love to.”

Robert got up, took a sip of his now lukewarm coffee and winced at the taste, finding the nearest bin and throwing it in. Aaron tossed his empty cup in after Robert’s and looked at him expectantly.

“Lead the way,” he said with a smile.

The cemetery was about a twenty minute walk away and they were mostly quiet as they walked in step next to each other. There were too many things they had yet to talk about which could fill the silence but Robert was content to just walk next to Aaron again. Robert stopped by the usual flower shop to buy a bouquet on the way and Aaron raised an eyebrow at him when the shop-owner, an elderly lady called Brenda, greeted him as if she had known him for years.

With a bouquet of chrysanthemums in hand, Robert walked the path towards the grave marked Sarah Sugden. The gravel crunched under their feet and it was comforting to hear another set of footsteps behind him, to feel the presence of someone else beside him. When Robert slowed, Aaron followed suit until they stood together in front of her gravestone and Robert bent down to lay the flowers. A wilted bouquet of chrysanthemums lay against the granite and Robert removed them before placing the new ones.

“They were her favourite,” he said when Aaron glanced between him and the flowers. Aaron smiled but it was tinged with sadness.

Robert bent down on one knee and placed his fingers on the indentations in the stone that spelled her name, tracing one of the letters reverently and breathing deeply. He could almost smell the scent of her lavender perfume, of her Sunday roast, the smell of _home_ that he had missed since he was 14. That he hadn’t really found since.

“Hi Mum,” he said softly, his voice carrying far in the quiet of the cemetery. “I’m sorry I haven’t been here lately but it’s been so hard… I think of you every day.” He looked over his shoulder at Aaron who stood, hands in his pockets, eyes on her headstone. Robert let his eyes drift across the surrounding trees and flowers before he closed his eyes and continued: “I miss you so much. I wish you could see how grown up Vic has become, see how much I have grown. Remember when I told you about liking boys as well as girls? You were the first person I told, sat right here and I was so nervous. I have no idea what you would think of it… but I’m sure you’d like Aaron. He’s kind and strong and makes me so happy. He’s here, and I just hope I didn’t mess it up so badly he doesn’t want to see me again. I wish you could meet him, see the way he smiles and how happy I am when I’m with him.” He sniffed and held onto the cold stone beneath his fingertips. “He makes me want to smile again and for that I will always be grateful. I brought you some flowers, purple this time, and I’ll be back next week, I promise. Maybe Vic’ll come too… I love you, Mum.”

He pressed his fingers to his lips and brushed them over her name, felt a lump in his throat at not being able to hear her say it back. His knees ached slightly as he got up and walked backwards until he stood next to Aaron, taking a few calming breaths. Anger bubbled in his chest; anger at losing her, anger at not having his mum, anger that made his fists clench at his sides as he looked down at her grave.

Suddenly one of Aaron’s hands touched his, calloused fingers pushed gently between Robert’s and entangled them together, thumb stroking circles on Robert’s skin. Aaron squeezed his hand, moved closer until they stood shoulder to shoulder and Robert could feel his warmth seep through his arm. He almost crumpled at the sensation, one side of him mourning his mother and the other giddy at Aaron’s touch, at the meaning it bore.

He wasn’t alone. Not any longer.

 

By the time they made it back to Robert’s the sky was darkening and they had stopped at the chippy to pick up some food. Neither of them was in the mood for cooking. Robert was reluctant to let go of Aaron’s hand as he fumbled with the key but as soon as the food was placed on the kitchen table Aaron’s hand found his and pulled him over to the sofa, food forgotten.

Aaron loomed over him, bodies pressed together from head to toe, head raised to look at Robert as his hands stroked his cheek.

“I’m not going to quit my job,” Aaron’s words tumbled out of his mouth with urgency that Robert almost jumped. “We are well trained, I know how to keep myself safe in dangerous situations. We can’t be together if you keep worrying about me.”

Robert looked up into his eyes, felt his steady heartbeat where his hand was pressed to Aaron’s back, and nodded.

“I know, it’s never been an option. I’m seeing my old counsellor and I’m going to work on being better. I want to be with you, without my past getting in the way. I just need to stop being so afraid...”

Aaron’s lips curled into a small smile, as if small happiness was all he could feel after the emotional afternoon. His thumb ran against Robert’s jaw, up to his ear and the soft skin beneath his earlobe.

“I might be able to help with that, if you’d like.”

Robert looked at him questioningly and Aaron continued: “I can show you how to stay safe if you’re ever trapped in a fire again. Show you I know how to keep safe.”

“You’d do that for me?” Robert’s voice was small as he spoke and Aaron nodded. His face broke out in a smile, his chest expanded. “I’d like that.”

Robert woke up from a long night’s sleep with a familiar weight on his chest, familiar arms wrapped around his body. They had gone to bed after too much talking, exhausted and in need of rest. Aaron only wore his briefs and Robert had his hand on Aaron’s lower back. He wanted to relearn the slope of his back, the curve of his arse, the strength of his body, wanted to worship every inch of him. Aaron stirred beneath him, shifting under the covers and Aaron’s arousal pressed against Robert’s leg, making him shiver.

“Morning,” Aaron said, breath tickling Robert’s skin. His voice was hoarse with sleep but he lifted his head anyway, eyes meeting Robert’s.

“Want some coffee?” Robert asked.

Aaron’s hand moved slowly across Robert’s chest, re-learning the groves of his skin and firm muscle.

“Alright,” he said but when Robert made to get up he didn’t move, didn’t let him go. His hand found Robert’s hip and gripped tightly as he moved up the bed, aligning his head and hips with Robert’s. “Or coffee could wait…”

With a flicker of his gaze to Robert’s lips he pressed against them. It was their first kiss in weeks, feeling too raw and emotional yesterday, too unsure of what they were, but feeling Aaron against him again made it easy to sink back into it. Robert tilted his head and they deepened the kiss despite their tangy morning breaths, letting their tongues slide together, heavy and languid.

Aaron pressed down against Robert’s erection and Robert moaned into his mouth, moved his hand down and slid it under Aaron’s briefs to cup his arse and pull him closer. Robert was completely awake, every nerve in his body was singing with want, his belly heavy with it. Robert pulled away, looked at Aaron’s dark eyes.

“You sure?”

Aaron’s hand was tugging at the hairs on his neck and he nodded, eyes sparkling. Aaron grinned as Robert grabbed at his thighs and, with practiced grace, flipped them over so Aaron lay beneath him, Robert nestled between his legs.

They made quick work of their underwear, Aaron grabbing at Robert’s and pulling them down seconds before Robert did the same to him, relishing the sight of Aaron’s cock lying against his stomach. Robert ran a hand over Aaron’s stomach, felt his muscles twitch beneath his touch and felt Aaron’s breath quicken - it was intoxicating to know he had that effect on Aaron.

Robert bent down and kissed along Aaron’s neck, pressing wordless apologies onto his skin, tracing them onto Aaron’s chest and legs with his fingers, conveying them with every touch of his tongue and heated press of their bodies. He prepared Aaron with deft and gentle fingers, pressing in and curling up to find Aaron’s prostate, grazing it with every touch. Aaron moaned, slack-jawed and needing, mumbling expletives as Robert worked him open, licked along his skin, bit into his hip-bone.

Aaron told him he was ready with staggered moans and Robert pulled his fingers out and rolled on a condom. His hands held Aaron’s legs apart as he aligned himself and slowly pressed inside, and the feeling of Aaron surrounding, taking all of him, knocked the breath from his lungs.

Aaron pulled him down by the shoulders and into a bruising kiss, tongues licking and breaths heavy and with a small jerk of his hips Robert started moving, starting to slowly build on the pleasure that already coursed through them.

Robert had a hand on Aaron’s hip as he moved, the other hand lay next to Aaron’s head, holding him up while they kissed. Aaron was clawing at his back, digging into his skin with his fingers, his legs slowly intertwining with Robert’s. Every molecule of air separating them was too much and Robert leaned down to press his chest to Aaron’s.

“Fuck, Aaron -” Robert started before Aaron cut him off with a kiss. He kissed down Aaron’s jaw and bit the skin below Aaron’s ear gently. “I’m close,” he whispered against Aaron’s neck and Aaron cupped his arse and pushed him further in, moaning as he did so.

Robert shifted and started grazing Aaron’s prostate with every thrust. Robert could tell from the change in pitch, the hitching with every movement and he moved as steadily as his body would allow, making sure to drag along the same spot with every thrust. With a groan, low and deep that reverberated through his chest Aaron was coming, spilling his load onto the both of them and clenching around Robert. His thrusts became erratic and he got closer to release and with a final deep push his spine snapped and he came, engulfed in the pleasure that short-circuited his brain, moaning and collapsing on top of Aaron.

He came to with gentle fingers grazing his scalp, a hand on his side stroking his skin. They were sticky and sweaty and Robert met Aaron’s gaze with a grin. His cheeks were flushed and his breaths were still ragged. Robert let his fingers run through the hairs on his chest, let them follow the rise and fall of his breathing.

“I missed that,” Robert whispered, pressing a kiss to Aaron’s chest. “I missed you.”

Aaron kissed away his regret, kissed him slowly and without reservation, sliding his tongue along Robert’s before he pulled away.

“I missed you too.”

Robert couldn’t remember the last time he had grinned so hard.

Robert pulled out and saw Aaron wince. He got up and looked back to see Aaron stretched out on the bed, toes curling, smile tugging at his mouth. With a quick trip to the bathroom, Robert cleaned himself up before coming back and cleaning Aaron, wiping away the evidence of the morning’s activities with a damp cloth. As he threw it into the laundry pile Aaron grabbed his hand and pulled him down to lie with him, his head on Aaron’s strong chest, listening to the steady thrum of his heartbeat.

He swallowed hard, arms pulling Aaron closer.

“I love you.”

The fingers in his hair paused, and Robert didn’t dare look up to see Aaron’s reaction. The truth of it lay in his chest, in the ache he had felt without Aaron in his life, in the way his skin tingled at every touch. He had attempted to ignore it, to pretend that the hollow, empty chest has meant nothing for so long but it was undeniable. He felt Aaron’s arms around him and felt safe, felt at home.

Aaron pressed a kiss to his hair before he whispered, “I love you too.”

Robert froze, his heart stuttered before it became too big for his chest. He couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips, couldn’t help but think that he had never been happier than he was right now, Aaron in his arms and back in his life.

He lifted his head to see Aaron lying back, eyes closed and mouth curved in a smile, soft curls resting on his forehead. Robert had never seen anything more beautiful. He scooted up the bed until they were aligned and pressed a gentle kiss to Aaron’s lips.

“I’m sorry I was an idiot,” he whispered, breath on Aaron’s skin.

Aaron opened his eyes as if it took considerable effort, hand still running through Robert’s hair.

“I know.” Robert smiled. “I also know I need a shower.”

Robert chuckled and looked down the both of them.

“Reckon we both could…,” he added. Aaron’s eyebrow rose suggestively.

“What are we waiting for then?”

 

A few days later Aaron arrived at Robert’s with a bag slung over his shoulder.

“Right, we’re doing this.”

Aaron pulled away from Robert’s kiss and opened the bag he had brought.

“Doing what?” asked Robert.

“I told you I would go through some basic safety procedure, and I even brought a prop.” He bent over and pulled out a fire extinguisher from the bag. “This isn’t an active one, but it’ll do for a demonstration…”

“You serious?” Robert exclaimed, incredulity evident.

“I told you,” Aaron said, giving Robert a soft smile, “I told you I would help and if this helps you sleep, or even gets you to stop worrying about me as much, then it’s worth it. First things first,” Aaron said, gaze turning professional, “if there’s a fire, alert everyone in your vicinity. Get them to the exit. If your building has a lift, use the stairs.”

Robert nodded, holding a hand up and finding his notebook. He found a blank page and started taking notes. Aaron repeated himself before he continued.

“If you find yourself trapped remember smoke rises, so getting down on all fours will make it easier for you to breathe, if you can, find a wet rag and hold it to your mouth. Call emergency services as soon as you can, we need to know where you are, and if there are other people trapped inside. You can use the light on your phone to tell us where you are in the building once we’ve arrived. If you place your hand on a door or a doorknob and it feels warm to the touch, don’t open that door. If your clothes catch fire, you need to roll around to extinguish the flames.”

Robert took in Aaron’s words and copied it to paper, hoping the act of writing it out would help him remember.

“Now, I’ll show you how to use a fire extinguisher… this one is just for show but it’ll give you the general idea.”

Aaron lifted it and showed Robert the safety pin. He then went through the motions and Robert could tell that Aaron had explained this before. It made his chest ache that Aaron was now doing this for him as well.

He took the nozzle in hand and moved it from side to side.

“You need to point this at the base of the flame, or else you won’t extinguish anything, and by moving it from side to side…,” he handed Robert the prop and stood behind him, reaching around to guide Robert’s movements, “you’ll cover the biggest surface area with it.”

Robert nodded, turned his head to look at Aaron.

“Thank you,” he said, eyes flickering between Aaron’s eyes and his lips. He gently pressed his lips to Aaron’s, and when he pulled away the air shifted, was filled with happiness. Before long, the prop was forgotten and Robert was seated on the sofa, surrounded by Aaron.

Nothing in the world compared to kissing Aaron.

His lips were built for it, soft and inviting and framed by short black stubble that made Robert weak. Robert pressed his lips to Aaron’s and the rest of the world fell away, unimportant in comparison to the tongue sliding against his, the moans reverberating through their bodies, the warmth that spread through him at the touch of their skin.

Their lips moulded together perfectly and they had reached a point where they knew when to bite and when to relent, when to demand more and when to give and give and give.

Aaron was straddling Robert’s thighs and pressing against him, hands roaming his neck and running through his hair. Aaron seldom used his teeth but when he did it sent Robert reeling, grabbing at his hips and pulling him closer.

Aaron was in the middle of doing so when his phone went off. Robert broke away to let him take it but Aaron pulled him closer.

“I’m ignoring it,” he said before he placed his lips against Robert’s neck.

The call went to voicemail and Aaron didn’t seem to care at all. Robert went back to sinking into Aaron’s arms, Aaron’s lips, Aaron’s tongue dragging across his - then his phone went off again.

Aaron pulled away and leant over to grab it.

“It’s Adam,” he said and Robert shot him a quizzical look. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before answering.

“This had better be important Adam you’re –“ but he was cut off.

“Thought we were supposed to have a pint together? It had better be important if it is keeping you this late…”

Aaron cursed and ran a hand over his eyes. “I’m… I’m with Robert” He said.

The reply was so loud he had to move the phone away from his ear. Robert snorted and Aaron slid off his lap giving Robert the chance to move and compose himself.

“I knew you wouldn’t like it, that’s why I didn’t tell ya. We’ve talked and he apologised, profusely…”

Robert couldn’t hear his reply but at some point Aaron mumbled a small apology and rolled his eyes. Adam went on for a bit before he cut off the call and Aaron sighed heavily.

“Up for meeting Adam for a pint?”

Half an hour later Aaron pulled a reluctant Robert into a small pub close to the fire station. They had scrambled out of the flat as quickly as they could, Aaron promising to get back to what they were doing later and Robert acquiescing between stolen kisses. Aaron spotted the table occupied by Adam and two other blokes that Robert assumed were more of Aaron’s colleagues and smiled at him before walking over.

Aaron let go of Robert’s hand to greet Adam and introduced the other two as Pete and Ross. Pete was the tallest of the three, his hair greying but he didn’t look much over 30. Ross had striking dark hair and constantly wore a sly smile that made Robert permanently cautious. Aaron didn’t seem in the least bit ashamed of Robert, pulling him close by the hand despite Robert recently behaving like a Class A twat. Aaron really was too good to him.

“So,” Adam began when Robert returned with two pints, voice cold, “You managed to win him back after all.”

Robert glanced at Aaron who punched Adam on the shoulder for his remark.

“Yeah, I guess I did.”

“Adam, we’ve sorted it yeah? No need to give him the third degree.”

Adam eyed Robert while Pete and Ross stood quiet next to him. Pete looked embarrassed but Ross was looking at Robert with curiosity etched on his face.

“I’m just saying, a bit over a week ago you were sulking because this one,” Adam lifted his beer and pointed with his index finger at Robert, “wasn’t returning your calls. Now you’re back together?”

“I explained why I had been an idiot,” Robert began and Adam scoffed.

“Look, we’ve sorted it, yeah? That’s all that matters…” Aaron squeezed Robert’s knee under the table and Robert shot him a small smile.

“Should’ve guessed when you didn’t come home several nights in a row. Thought maybe you’d gone to visit your mum or something…” Adam muttered.

Ross set his empty pint down harder than necessary and looked Robert up and down.

“Don’t you live on Richmond Grove?”

Aaron paled slightly at Ross’ words. “Yeah,” Robert said and Ross pointed at Aaron.

“Number 53, fifth floor right?” Ross asked again and Robert looked between Ross and Aaron.

“Yeah… how do you –“

Ross slammed his hand down on the table. “I knew it – he was the reason you left our party!” Adam started sniggering and bumped shoulders with Aaron, apparent discontent forgotten.

“You pulled him away from a banger, I thought I recognised you.”

Robert looked at Aaron hiding and saw an opportunity.

“Was it his whiskey too?”

Pete spluttered out some of his beer and Ross’ glare suddenly turned furious. He spun on Aaron and glared at him.

“ _You_ nicked that whiskey?” he asked to a chorus of laughter from Robert and Adam.

“Had to get us going on something didn’t I?” Aaron deadpanned. With a two second delay, Adam was all-out laughing at Ross’ horrified face.

“You owe us a new bottle, mate, that was a proper expensive one, and all.”

Adam patted Ross on the shoulder.

“Don’t be too angry just because you’ve never scored with just a bottle of fancy whiskey…” Pete sniggered at that and clinked his glass with Aaron’s in salute. “Don’t worry about the bottle, mate just glad you two met. He’s a grumpy git without you.” Pete joked.

Adam caught Robert’s eye before he replied and Robert put an arm around Aaron’s back.

“Not planning on going anywhere…”

 

Waking up with Aaron was one of Robert’s absolute favourite things. Aaron was softer in the mornings, smiled more freely when he was tired and Robert was pressing kisses to his heated skin. They had practically developed a routine now; Robert got up and showered, made his way to the kitchen and put the kettle on to make them a cup of coffee, woke Aaron up with a kiss and a cup of steaming coffee and Aaron slowly woke up while Robert dressed.

Aaron was currently raking his eyes over Robert’s body as he dressed, cup of coffee in hand while Robert’s cup sat on the dresser.

“Long day today?” Aaron asked.

Robert picked out a light blue shirt and shrugged.

“It might be – have a meeting with a potential new client, which should be interesting, and there might be some business contracts I need to go over in the afternoon. You?”

“Got a shift at the station in an hour…” Aaron stretched under the duvet and yawned. “I hope you have had enough sleep to get you through your day.”

Robert caught his eye in the mirror and rolled his eyes at the knowing grin on Aaron’s face. He indulged him nonetheless.

“Might be a bit sore and tired after last night,” he said and raised an eyebrow suggestively at Aaron, “but I should be able to handle it.”

Aaron sipped his coffee before throwing the duvet aside, revealing his naked body. Robert watched in the mirror as Aaron walked behind him, cheeks flushing at Aaron’s muscular chest, strong thighs… Aaron wrapped his arms around him and turned him around so they were facing one another.

“You sure you can handle it?”

Robert felt himself stiffen at Aaron’s touch, saw Aaron’s smile as he realised what he was doing.

“Not fair,” Robert said, voice deep and wanting.

“I can make it up to you…” Aaron kissed him deeply before dropping to his knees.

Robert made it out of his flat 20 minutes later with a grin on his face and the memory of Aaron wrapped around him. He realised he was happy.

Alicia was ready with the paperwork he needed as soon as he arrived, for which he was grateful.

Robert knew this was a potential deal and wanted to be as well prepared as possible. Bringing in new clients was one of the most important steps he could take towards making partner and he knew that this was the stuff he was good at; being the ruthless, over-confident sweet talker that made people want him to represent them.

A middle-aged man, who Robert presumed was Mr Watts, walked into his office fifteen minutes late and closed the door behind him. His shirt was slightly rumpled and his hair was a mess, but Robert’s notes told him he was a potential investor for his clients so he shrugged it off.

“Mr Watts?” Robert asked and the man nodded. Robert stuck his hand out to shake and felt Mr Watts’ clammy palm. “What can I do for you today?”

He sat down opposite Robert, wiped his hands on his trousers and looked around the office, eyeing the walls and furniture as if he were looking for something in particular.

“I’m here to talk to you,” he began, “about investment in tech start-ups.”

“Well I can assure you we have plenty of potential investment opportunities but I don’t see how I can help you in particular with that.”

“I… I want to ensure that should the business… fail,” he stammered, “I would be able to retain my investment.”

“Yes, well that is part of the risk with an investment, but –,”

Mr Watts turned to him, looked Robert straight in the eye. He looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks; his eyes were red and he had dark bags under them; and Robert knew from experience you didn’t look like that unless you had something troubling you.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

Mr Watts got up, stuffed his hand into his left pocket and drew out a lighter.

“We have a strict no smoking policy in this building…” but Robert stopped talking when he saw the frantic gleam in his eye. Something was wrong and he couldn’t put his finger on it.

“It was easier than I thought, getting in here,” he started and Robert remained seated, fear coursing through him. “I just had to give a fake name and make you think I had money to throw around… I used to, anyway.”

Robert finally found his voice and stood up, hand out to the man in front of him.

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” he said, as calmly as he could.

“No, I’m not going anywhere… You have taken everything from me!” he shouted. Robert flinched at his words.

“I have no idea how I could have taken anything from you –,”

“They came for my things last week. Took away my car, my furniture, took away my house. That house has been a part of my family for decades, and now it’s all gone.” He spat the last word, fury rising. Robert thought back and suddenly realised who it had to be.

“Collins,” he said.

“So now you remember!” Mr Collins said. “I’m disappointed in how long that took, a hot shot lawyer like you should always have his wits about him.” With his other hand he reached into his jacket pocket, which Robert only now noticed held something heavy and bulging. His hand came out and with it came a small bottle of lighter fluid. Robert’s stomach dropped.

“You don’t have to do this…” Robert started, “I can help you!”

“Help me? You cost me everything!” Collins was shouting now and Robert heard Alicia knocking on the door.

“Is everything alright?” she asked.

“Get out of here!” Robert shouted in reply. Alicia tried the handle and Robert realised it was locked. He turned back to Collins and eyed him. “What’s your plan?” he asked, taunting him. Collins opened the bottle and started pouring lighter fluid on the carpet, on the wooden floor, dousing the curtains and spreading it as much as he could. Robert backed into a corner, as far away as he could get. “You burn these offices down and you will still have nothing. If you go through with this, you’ll lose everything -”

“Don’t you understand?” Collins stared him right in the eye, “I already have.” With that, he threw down the lighter and Robert’s office erupted into flames.

Collins ran for the door, unlocking it and running towards the stairs as quickly as possible.

“Robert?” Alicia’s footsteps sounded towards the door to Robert’s office and stopped as soon as she saw the flames.

_Fire._

_Crackling, burning flames._

Robert shook himself out of it in time to see Alicia frozen in his doorway.

“Alicia,” he said but she didn’t register it. “Alicia!” Her head snapped up at his shout and he saw her terrified expression through the fire. “I’m going to need to you to get everyone out, okay?” She nodded. “Go, find Leyla, Bernice, all the others, call upstairs and get them all down the stairs, and call emergency services!”

She turned around and ran.

Robert looked around at the fire, the flames consuming his desk and his bookcase and his calm exterior with every passing second. In his head he heard screaming even though he knew the building would soon be empty, he felt the heat and nerves making him sweat. This could be the end.

 

 _No_ , he thought with determination. _I need to get out._

Today was slow. Ross was trying to be witty, throwing his weight around until Cain shut him up with a look. Adam was in a good mood and it only served to amplify Aaron’s – he was happy, and he couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this good.

“You alright mate?” Adam asked as they checked over their gear.

“I’m good, yeah.”

“Haven’t seen you at ours much lately…” Adam nudged him by the shoulder, “I’m guessing that’s why you’ve got that huge smile on your face?”

“It helps,” he joked. Adam was about to reply when the alarm went off, blaring throughout the station and letting everyone know this wasn’t a drill.

Aaron did what he was trained to do – gather their gear and set off as quickly as possible, Cain driving and the rest of them in the back. They had done this a hundred times before, felt the familiar gears set in motion and the thrill that went with it.

“We have one male, trapped in his office behind a fire,” Cain spoke as he drove, making them aware of the situation. “Case of arson, his secretary called it in and told us she had gotten everyone else out. Paramedics are on their way. Getting him out is our priority.”

Aaron stared at Adam’s resolved expression, Pete’s sad eyes and Ross’ grin and felt pride rush through him – pride at what they did, and who he got to do it with.

Cain turned down a familiar street and Aaron could smell the smoke now, could hear the roaring sound of fire and he prepared himself for the heat and adrenaline that was sure to kick in soon. When he glanced at the burning building however, nausea flooded him.

“No,” he whispered, “no, no no...”

“What is it?” Adam asked.

“That’s Robert’s building.”

His dread grew as he saw Alicia and Leyla outside the building, cheeks tear-stained. The vehicle stopped and the others ran out, preparing their gear and the hose but Aaron ran straight for Alicia.

“Aaron!” she yelled as she saw him, “it’s Robert, he’s trapped –”

Aaron froze, stared up at the building, panic rising in him.

Robert trapped. This was what kept him up at night, what killed his mother – it was his worst nightmare come true and Aaron could do nothing to help him but stare at the fire.

“Aaron, come back here, we have work to do!” Cain shouted at him but he couldn’t move. “Aaron!” He flinched at the shout and turned around, eyes blurry. He realised what he was supposed to be doing and resolve flooded him.

Aaron ran towards the bus, teary eyed and panicked.

“I have to help, I have to do something…” he muttered as he got out his protective helmet. In his confusion he ended up grabbing the wrong helmet and Cain wrenched it out of his grasp with steady hands. “Robert’s up there!” Aaron shouted, tears falling freely now. “I have to help him!”

Cain tossed his helmet to the ground as Ross and Pete prepared the truck. He grabbed Aaron by the shoulders and turned him so they were face-to-face.

“If it is Robert up there you’re going nowhere near him.”

“Cain,” he began, his voice shaky. “I have to do something!”

“Trust us, yeah? We can do this without you, you’ll just be reckless and get hurt and I can’t have that. You would put both yourself and Robert in danger!”

Aaron let out a strangled sob, feeling even more helpless than before

“Cain, I love him,” he said, energy draining out of him by the second until the only thing holding him up was Cain’s strength.

“I know, son. Trust us.” Aaron met his eye and saw Cain’s defiant expression. “We’ll get him out.”

Aaron nodded and Cain let go, letting him sag to the ground. The sound of Cain getting the team ready, leading them into the building to get Robert out wasn’t near loud enough to drown out the sound of crackling flames, of burning wood, of fire consuming everything in its wake. _Including Robert,_ he thought, before he let out a sob.

Something caught his eye, a white light flickering on the ground, something too bright to be fire. Aaron looked up and searched until he found the source.

The window furthest to the right had a small mirror reflecting sunlight on the ground. Aaron’s heart swelled with pride as he realised it was Robert’s floor, that he had remembered…

Aaron leapt to his feet, ran over to the truck and found their radio transmitter.

“Cain!” he yelled but got no reply. “Cain, he’s telling us where he is – third floor, furthest to the right, Robert’s there.”

The radio scratched in his ear and he thought he heard a vague semblance of Cain’s voice replying but the connection wasn’t good enough. Aaron cursed and repeated himself, speaking clearly and hoping to whatever gods existed that he was heard.

Leyla and Alicia made their way towards him, wrapped their arms around him but he felt no warmth from their embrace. He could only think of Robert, _his_ Robert, trapped, scared, terrified. Aaron stood below, stared up at the burning building with his heart lodged in his throat, beating wildly.

“Come on, come on,” he whispered, wringing his hands and staring at the exit. Each second felt drawn out to an infinity, each beat of his heart pounding in his ears was excruciating.

The flames had made their way out of the building now, licking their way up the walls to the next floor. The water packs on their backs wouldn’t be enough to douse the flames but it would be enough to get Robert out until they could get the hydrant and hose working.

Aaron has seen the devastation fire left behind a hundred times, had seen the ashen remains of houses they hadn’t been able to save, seen the soggy wet building frames they left behind, but nothing had made him feel as much as this. Anguish coursed through him as his eyes were locked on the entrance to the building, hoping for any sign of Robert.

He saw movement, saw Pete run out and straight towards the truck, saw Cain and Adam run out behind him. Between them was Robert.

They held him up by their shoulders, almost dragging him across the threshold and into the sunlight. His face was dark with soot, his eyes closed as he coughed, pain etched on his face. His suit was singed in places but Aaron couldn’t see any wounds.

Aaron burst into a sprint that could only carry him to Robert too slowly. He made it there and took over from Cain and with Adam’s help they made it over to the pavement and sat Robert down.

“You good?” Adam asked Aaron, anxious to get back to helping the others. Aaron nodded, turning his attention to Robert before Adam had left.

“Robert?” he asked, cradling his head on his shoulder. He coughed meekly in reply. Aaron felt relief flood him as he held Robert in his arms. _He’s okay, he’s going to be okay…_

“Aaron?” Robert’s voice was hoarse with smoke and Aaron lifted his head up so he could see.

“I’m here, I’m right here.” Robert smiled and coughed again, hand covering his mouth. Aaron looked around for any sign of the paramedics.

“Thank you,” Robert whispered. Aaron’s arm held Robert close to him but Aaron felt Robert move closer, needing his support. “I wouldn’t be here,” he paused to cough, “without you.”

Aaron pressed a kiss to his temple. His eyes were blurry when he moved away. A few streets away Aaron heard the sirens of an ambulance and sighed with relief.

They got Robert on oxygen, checked him for burns but found none. Behind Aaron, Cain and the rest of them were covering the building in gallons of water and slowly the flames were dying.

Robert was lifted onto a gurney and swiftly lifted into the ambulance. His eyes were closed as he was pushed in and one of the paramedics looked at Aaron, a question forming.

Aaron looked between the ambulance and the fire truck, wanting to jump in and join Robert, wanted to keep him company and make sure he was safe. Cain caught his eye, saw him hesitate and shouted: “You better get in there with him!”

Aaron didn’t need any more encouragement.

 

Robert vaguely registered the lights flickering past him as he was wheeled in, the lights bright but his mind elsewhere, his eyes aching and teary. He hardly realised the x-ray scan of his chest and barely sensed the doctor’s assessment and the nurses inserting an IV. His hand felt empty. His mind was filled with smoke and fire and past screams that didn’t want to disappear. He felt the mask they put over his mouth for oxygen, felt the clamp on his finger, felt his breathing come easier. His head went lighter at the comfort of a bed and a warm hand in his. The last thing he noticed before falling asleep was Aaron’s determined expression, Aaron’s hand in his, Aaron whispering: “You made it, you’re okay… you’re safe.”

_Hot._

_It is unbearably hot and Robert knows these flames, he has seen them hundreds of times before. They are relentless, all-consuming, and Robert is terrified._

_“Robert get out, run!”_

_Through the haze of smoke he can see her, arm outstretched and pleading. Her voice is clear over the sound of burning wood._

_“Robert, you need to get out! Come with me!”_

_The flames grow higher but he looks her in the eye and somehow he finds a path. Their hands meet and hers are surprisingly cool. He clings to it with all he has as he makes it outside, her by his side…_

Robert woke up sobbing, wrenching a mask from his face hoping it would make his lungs work, his chest expand. He couldn’t breathe.

The memory of her smile was etched in his brain anew; it was usually burdened with fire but she was out and smiling and it was too much. He looked around in panic, hoping she was still here, that she was somehow still alive. What he saw was a white hospital room and an all-too bright light in the ceiling. A machine next to his bed started beeping loudly and he stared around the room, confusion absolute.

Vic got up from her chair in the corner, set her coffee cup aside, and walked over.

“Robert?” she asked.

“I got her out, Vic… I saved her.” The last words were almost incomprehensible, consumed by heaving sobs that consumed his entire body and made his irritated throat rebel. He started coughing as well. Aaron ran into the room and was immediately followed by a team of nurses, crowding around Robert and checking his vitals and, finding no obvious cause, they wheeled him off for an x-ray.

 

Aaron stared at the floor, his heart heavy and his eyes dry. Vic sat beside him, a hand on his back that should have been more comforting.

“They’ve taken him away for a test… Want to make sure his lungs are working.” Aaron nodded. Her voice was calm and he couldn’t understand how she could be. “They’re taking good care of him Aaron.” Aaron nodded again.

“I wanted to thank you.” Her voice was tighter this time, measured as she tried to control her emotions. “One of the nurses said you were with him when he came in… The doctors mentioned that he could’ve had major lung damage or burns if he hadn’t been careful.” She paused and when she spoke, Aaron felt a lump in his throat. “The – the thought of losing him like we lost Mum.”

Aaron looked up. She held a hand over her mouth, eyes far away from reality. Aaron placed a hand on her thigh and she snapped back.

“I’m glad he had you with him in that ambulance, that you could be there for him when he came out.”

“I didn’t do anything. He was smart, Vic. He did what I told him to do in that situation and I wasn’t allowed to help.”

Vic smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Of course you did.” She placed her hand on top of his and squeezed. “You’ve made him happy, helped him more than I ever imagined. If what you say is true, he wouldn’t have made it out safely if it wasn’t for you. Thank you.”

Aaron nodded before he turned his head back down and stared at the floor.

“I just hope he’s okay.”

 

Robert opened his eyes tentatively and found Aaron’s blue eyes looking up at him from beside his bed. His hand was warm despite the plastic casing on one of his fingers, and Aaron was tracing circles onto the back of his hand. With a slow movement he lifted his hand and removed his mask.

“Thought you’d left,” he muttered. Aaron smiled, pressed Robert’s hand to his cheek.

“Course not.” Aaron looked over his shoulder to Vic’s sleeping in the corner. “Vic’s here too.”

Robert focussed on his eyes, his kind and loving eyes, and smiled.

“Didn’t think you’d stay.”

“I love you,” Aaron whispered against his hand. “I won’t ever leave.”

Robert took a shaky breath and his eyes blurred. Aaron noticed and sat up, moving closer to Robert. “It’s okay,” Aaron said, placing his hand on Robert’s cheek. “You’re okay.”

Robert felt his chin quiver, his careful calm shattering as he spoke. “I dreamt I saved her…”

He couldn’t hold back any longer; he reached up and pulled Aaron close, sitting up to sob onto Aaron’s shoulder, great heaving sobs that wracked through his body. He could almost feel her hand in his and it made him cry all over again.

“I saved her,” he muttered between deep breaths. “Why couldn’t I save her?”  

Aaron stroked his hair, pressed a kiss to his temple.

“I’ve got you.”

With Aaron holding him he didn’t feel quite as lost, and soon enough his sobs subsided, turned to deep exhausted breaths in Aaron’s arms and he kept clinging to him, the smell of his aftershave calming him. When he opened his eyes he realised Vic was standing next to him, teary-eyed and cheeks wet from crying.

“You couldn’t have done anything, Robert.”

He nodded, took a deep breath and used the sheet to wipe his eyes. Her hand found his and she squeezed, and it was almost as good as his memory.

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”

She let out a small laugh and wiped a stray tear away.

“Don’t ever do that to me again,” she said, her voice breaking. She leant forward and he wrapped his arms around her, held her as she cried.

By the time the doctor came by again, Robert’s eyes had gone dry and his breathing was more or less steady. Aaron stood beside him during the check up, holding his hand. The doctor ordered Robert back in his oxygen mask while a worried Vic checked his pulse and his forehead. As soon as he was gone Vic glanced between the two of them.

“Right, I’m going to go and find some tea for the both of you,” she kissed the part of Robert’s cheek not covered in plastic before squeezing his hand and walking out of the door.

As soon as she was gone Aaron placed a hand on Robert’s cheek, a sad smile on his lips. “I was so worried Robert,” he said, “I thought I’d lost you.”

Robert coughed and removed his mask. “I couldn’t have made it out without you.”

Aaron smiled and nodded, biting his lip to hide his quivering chin.

“I did nothing…”

“You did,” Robert interrupted. “I was about to panic in that office and then I remembered what you told me…” He spoke slowly, wading through words and deep breaths. “I did what you told me, found a rag and stayed on the ground. I found a mirror and used it…”

“I saw,” Aaron said.

Robert smiled at him.

“I got out because of you.”

Aaron leant down and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, soft and loving and Aaron paled at the thought of losing this – losing Robert’s lips against his, Robert’s breath on his skin, and he never wanted to let go. Robert secured his oxygen as soon as Aaron pulled away and then he moved, scooting over until he only occupied one half of the bed.

“What’re you…?” Aaron asked, rolling his eyes when he realised. “I am not about to climb into bed with you -” he began but Robert cut him off by pulling his oxygen mask away from his mouth, allowing him to speak.

“Please Aaron?”

He needed it, however little he wanted to admit it. He needed strong arms around him, the steady rhythm of Aaron’s heartbeat in his ear. He needed someone who loved him.

Aaron grinned at him, taking off his shoes before climbing up next to him and letting Robert rest his head on Aaron’s chest. Before long Robert fell asleep with no nightmare to plague him.

 

Robert was discharged after a few days in hospital, tired and plagued mostly by a slight cough and his memories. His offices were ruined and needed to be rebuilt, and even then they had little work as all the computer systems failed. Even without the medical note Robert had a lot of spare time. Somehow Aaron also did.

Aaron took Robert home and then he stayed. He did the shopping and made him tea, taking care of Robert in a way that made Robert in no doubt of Aaron’s feelings for him. Aaron was careful, made sure Robert was comfortable, that he had enough to drink. Aaron somehow found pillows Robert had forgotten he owned and made Robert utilise them all for support, he offered to watch Game of Thrones all day and even brought him coffee and croissants back from Vic’s when he went out on a run. He often did it with a snarky comment and it made it all the better. Robert hadn’t felt so loved since he was fourteen, vague memories of his mother getting him food and pillows and taking care of him with as much love filling his mind. He smiled and held onto Aaron a little tighter. She would approve of him, he just knew it.

One afternoon they were laying on the sofa, limbs and hands intertwined as they watched Game of Thrones, Robert had to ask. Aaron blushed before replying.

“Cain has given me some time off, knew I wouldn’t be worth much if I was just worrying about you while I was supposed to work…” his eyes left Robert’s and he pressed his head to Robert’s shoulder.

“Aaron, I -,” Robert began, not sure what he wanted to say. At the look on Aaron’s face he lifted his hand and kissed the back of it. “Thank you.”

It was simple, too small to convey exactly what Robert wanted to say but by Aaron’s smile it seemed to be enough.

Robert was getting used to having Aaron by his side, especially before they went to sleep. They would lie together, talking about everything and nothing until one of them drifted off to sleep, deep breaths and body heat dragging the other under soon after. Aaron exuded warmth when he slept and Robert, who usually felt a bit chilly as he lay under the covers, pressed up against him, holding him close or with Aaron’s arms wrapped around him.

Aaron was so careful with him, almost too careful, making sure he didn’t touch Robert in any way that could be construed as sexual. It was driving Robert mad.

Robert was yawning when Aaron walked in from the bathroom only in his briefs and Robert felt his blood rush to his cock. Aaron was beautiful, black cotton against fair skin and the sight of him made Robert’s mouth water. Aaron crawled into bed with his briefs on and Robert immediately pulled him close, capturing his lips in a kiss that became heated in seconds.

Aaron’s tongue slid into Robert’s mouth, curled behind his teeth and Robert gave back in kind, licking in to Aaron’s mouth with strong strokes. Robert placed a hand on Aaron’s neck, felt his warmth travel through Robert’s skin and started to move his hand down Aaron’s stomach, tracing each curve of his body with his fingers.

Aaron pulled away just as Robert slipped a finger under his briefs, concern clear on his face.

“You sure?” he asked.

Robert kissed him again and relished the speed with which Aaron went pliant beneath him.

“I want you,” Robert stated, staring into Aaron’s dark eyes. “So unless you don’t want to -”

“I do,” Aaron grinned, “I just don’t want you to overdo it, you only got out of hospital five days ago.”

Robert slipped a hand under Aaron’s briefs and took him in his hand. He was completely hard now and Aaron’s breath hitched when Robert began to move his hand up and down Aaron’s length.

“We could… switch?” he suggested and Aaron’s eyes went wide.

“I thought you didn’t -” he began and Robert chuckled.

“I thought you were a bottom but I really want you, if you want to top.”

Robert was still tugging lightly, deft fingers sliding around Aaron’s cock. At his question, he stilled, pulled his hand away.

“Only if you want it.”

Aaron pulled him down for a kiss, biting at Robert’s lower lip and sliding his tongue across it afterwards. He pulled away and Robert saw his expression shift to a lust-filled grin.

“I didn’t even think to ask.”

“I like both,” Robert quipped and Aaron moved, pressed Robert’s body to the mattress with hungry kisses.

Aaron shifted so he lay between Robert’s legs, pulled Robert close so his thighs were pressed to Aaron’s waist.

“It’s been a while so go slow, yeah?” Robert asked and Aaron kissed his neck.

“Of course.”

Robert reached behind him and while Aaron kissed and bit at the skin on his chest, he grabbed a bottle of lube and a box of condoms. Aaron smiled before running a hand down Robert’s chest and down to his arse, grabbing it through his boxers. His hand caught the elastic of Robert’s briefs and with a bit of manoeuvring he tugged them off, quickly followed by his own.

Aaron kissed Robert deeply as he ran a hand down Robert’s side. Robert felt his toes curl as Aaron pressed a finger at his hole, kissing Robert’s neck while subtly adding pressure with his finger. Robert pressed his hips against Aaron’s instinctively, needing friction in any shape or form but Aaron pulled his finger away and Robert groaned.

The tell-tale sound of a bottle opening made Robert’s skin tingle with anticipation. Aaron used his thighs to lift Robert up slightly before reaching around and sliding a finger into Robert’s tight hole.

Robert knew those fingers, had seen them grip his skin and tighten around sheets while Aaron came, and the knowledge that one of those fingers was now buried in his arse was sinful, made him moan against Aaron’s flushed skin.

With a curled finger Aaron quickly found the small bundle of nerves that made Robert moan with pleasure. Aaron was gentle, slowly working him open with one, then two and finally three fingers, and Robert pressed against him, wanting more. When he pulled them out Robert felt empty at the loss of contact, emitting a low whine that made Aaron lean down and curl his tongue behind Robert’s teeth. He rolled on a condom and added some lube, and with a glance at Robert’s face, pushed in slowly, eyes fixed on the point at which their bodies joined.

It was too good, hot and slightly stretching him open despite Aaron’s careful ministrations. Robert groaned loudly and without restraint and when Aaron bottomed out he took a deep breath, tried to control the emotions coursing through him.

He looked up and saw hesitation on Aaron’s face. This was Aaron; careful, attentive, waiting to make sure Robert was okay, that it wasn’t too much. Love blossomed in his chest, unfurled by the heat Aaron brought with his touch, his body. He placed his hands on Aaron’s shoulders and brought him down, kissed him with everything he had.

“I love you,” he whispered against his lips.

“I love you too,” Aaron whispered back. Robert felt Aaron rest his forehead against his own and ran a hand down Aaron’s back.

“Then move,” he said and Aaron grinned.

Aaron moved slowly at first but with Robert’s continued vocal assent ensuring him he wanted more, he started pressing in and changing the angle until every single thrust had him grazing Robert’s prostate. Robert wrapped his legs around Aaron’s waist and threw his head back in pleasure when it made Aaron’s angle even better.

“Fuck,” Aaron moaned against Robert’s skin. Robert hummed in agreement, unable to speak with Aaron working him so close to completion.

Aaron seemed to sense it, bringing his hand down to wrap around Robert’s leaking cock and tugging quickly, roughly. Robert fleetingly thought he could get lost in the feel of Aaron inside him when his orgasm slammed into him, liquefying his spine and short-circuiting his brain. Aaron still moved inside him, driving him through it and making it never-ending, sending shudders down his spine, his nerves alight with pleasure.

Aaron’s laboured breath sounded in his ear when his spent body decided to pay attention. Aaron’s thrusts turned desperate, hands fumbling for purchase on Robert’s skin before he came with a groan, head buried in the crook of Robert’s neck, skin sweat-soaked and smelling of sex.

Aaron kissed along Robert’s neck when he stilled, kissed him up his jaw before settling on his mouth, tongue lazy against Robert’s. When he pulled out, Robert hissed at the loss of contact and he knew he would be feeling that tomorrow. The thought made him smile.

Aaron helped him clean up, a lopsided grin on his face as he touched too close to Robert’s spent and now flaccid cock.

Aaron pulled Robert to him when he realised Robert wasn’t going to move on his own, body too heavy after Aaron had worked the last energy out of him. He pulled Robert’s head to his chest and wrapped his arms around him. They were both too hot but Robert didn’t care. They needed a shower in the morning anyway.

Aaron pressed a kiss to Robert’s temple.

“You alright?” he asked when Robert hadn’t said anything.

Robert took a deep breath, trying to restart the part of his brain responsible for speech. When he spoke, his tongue felt heavy in his mouth and he hoped he could be understood through the mumble: “We are doing that again.”

Aaron chuckled and the sound was music to Robert’s ears.

“Yeah, we are.”

Robert traced his finger over Aaron’s chest, drawing unimportant doodles onto his skin. Their legs were wrapped around each other, their bodies pressed together in every way possible. Robert sighed in contentment. He didn’t even notice when his hand stopped moving, lulled to sleep by the sound of Aaron’s heartbeat and the safety that Aaron’s arms brought.

 

Robert’s kitchen had more food than he could ever eat.

Vic came over almost every day with a new tray of something to eat and Robert smiled at each and every one, knowing it came from a place of concern. Aaron helped him eat some of it but kept on buying more than enough for the both of them and suddenly Robert’s fridge and freezer was overflowing.

There was nothing to do but have people over to eat it for them.

Adam came over and his eyes went wide as he ate Vic’s lasagne, proclaiming it to be the best he had ever eaten. Leyla and Alicia visited and Robert was pleased to see them appreciate not only Vic’s food but also Aaron’s company. They had no news for Robert about the company but did bring a large bouquet of flowers and a bottle of whiskey. When it came time to leave they threw their arms around him and thanked him, for what exactly he wasn’t quite sure.

Finally, they had Vic over for dinner two weeks after he was discharged and she immediately took over all preparations, insisting that Robert sit down with a glass of water while she heated the food.

“I’m going to have to nip home tomorrow for a bit,” Aaron said. “Need to gather a change of clothes and make sure Adam’s alright.”

Vic paused at his words and turned around.

“Sure,” Robert replied. “That’s fair, I can’t keep taking up all your time. I want to get back to the gym as well, try and start moving a bit.”

Aaron pressed a small kiss to his forehead.

“I’ll be back soon enough, you promised me a Top Gear marathon.”

“I did,” Robert replied, “maybe I just like having you here.” It was sickly sweet but Robert knew it was true; Aaron made his flat more of a home than it had been before. Robert thought maybe he had gone a step too far, but Aaron blushed at his words. Vic snorted.

Robert and Aaron turned their heads towards her in unison. “What?” Robert asked.

“He practically lives here.”

“He’s just helping me ‘til I’m better,” Robert countered and glanced over at Aaron, who shrugged.

“Just move in together already,” she joked, turning back to the food with a sigh.

Robert swallowed hard and Aaron sat back in his chair in silent contemplation.

The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. Having Aaron here was natural, felt _good_ and Robert realised with a start that he wanted it, he wanted Aaron’s morning breath and Aaron’s bad habits and Aaron’s smile. He risked a glance at Aaron and saw something akin to fear in his eyes. Robert’s stomach sank.

“When’re you back at the station?” Vic asked and Aaron seemed glad for the distraction.

“Cain’s given me another week before I need to be back.” He glanced at Robert. “Any news from the company?”

Robert shook his head. The last news was indefinite time off while the IT company extracted as much data as they could and the CEO found some temporary offices to let. Robert had no idea how much time that would take and when he remembered the damage done to the building he doubted the computers had fared any better.

“All I know is I’ve received a very nice bouquet from Bernice thanking me for getting everyone out before it got serious…”

“As you should,” Vic stated. “I can’t believe that man would go in there and threaten you!”

Robert’s mind tried to pull him back to it but Aaron’s hand on his own helped him stay in his kitchen.

“They caught him a few days after the fire, I don’t think he’ll be out for a while…”

“Good,” Vic said. She spooned some mash potatoes and stew onto three plates and, with Aaron’s help, distributed the plates amongst them. “Mum would be proud of you, you know? Dad too.”

Robert froze and took a deep breath. He thought of his mum, yelling for him to get out. His dad, beating him for something he couldn’t change. It didn’t feel as if they would be but the sincerity in Vic’s eyes made him believe it, even slightly.

“I hope so.”

Later, as they were getting ready for bed, brushing teeth side by side Robert caught Aaron’s eye in the mirror and smiled. It was ridiculous that Aaron could be that gorgeous with toothpaste at the corners of his mouth, chest bare and hair ruffled, only wearing briefs.

Robert always wanted to go to bed like this.

He spat out the foamy remnants of toothpaste.

“Why don’t we?” he asked.

Aaron was drying his mouth and pulled the towel away to answer.

“Do what?”

Robert rinsed his mouth and dried before answering.

“Why don’t you move in?”

Aaron froze beside him, his reflection showing the true extent of his surprise.

“You serious?”

“Yeah,” Robert replied, walking over and wrapping his arms around Aaron from behind. “I know Vic joked about it earlier but… you practically live here already, I love having you here, and it’s not too far from work for you. I love you and I have never met anyone I want as much as you.”

Aaron’s eyes became wet in the mirror and he took a deep breath before turning around, placing his hands on Robert’s arms and stroking his skin. He smiled and Robert’s heart swelled in his chest.

“Alright.” He kissed Robert quickly and grinned when he pulled away. “I’ll move in.”

 

Aaron went home the next day and brought over a sports bag filled with clothes. With music on in the background they rearranged Robert’s closet and chest of drawers, with the occasional comment from Aaron about whether Robert really needed four different pink shirts. Aaron insisted on going back home to have dinner with Adam as compensation for moving out.

Robert sat in his flat, eating dinner alone with a smile on his face. He was happy. The hole in his chest didn’t seem quite as big anymore. His living room would soon be theirs, the bed one to share, to fight over the pillows and doze together on slow Sunday mornings. It didn’t frighten him the way it always had and the only change in that was Aaron.

As soon as Adam had heard the news he had called Robert and asked when the house-warming party was. Robert told him promptly that there wasn’t going to be one. However, when Aaron came back later in the evening he insisted on finding dates, and Robert knew he would have to allow it.

 

The stone was cold beneath Robert’s hand; the lettering slightly faded but the words would forever be etched into Robert’s brain. _Sarah Sugden. 25th March 1952 - 20th November 2000. Loving wife and mother. Her life is a beautiful memory, her absence a silent grief._ He traced the letters with his finger, felt closer to her for just being there. His other hand clutched a bouquet of chrysanthemums. Blue this time.

“Hi Mum,” he said, voice small.

He placed the flowers by her headstone and removed the withering bouquet from last week, placing them by his side so he wouldn’t forget them when he left.

“Aaron’s moved in. We live together now. I really love him, Mum. I wish you could meet him.” His voice grew stronger as he smiled, as happiness flooded him. He sat down and ignored the cold that seeped from the ground. “I think it’ll be good, he makes me happy. He was there for me when I needed him the most…” He took a shuddering breath and stared sadly at his mother’s headstone. “I was trapped in a fire and I got out. I was so lucky, I knew what to do to get out in time, to stay safe. I know now, more than I knew before, that I couldn’t have saved you. The fire - it was too big and you didn’t know… if only you’d known, Mum.”

He felt a tear trickle down his cheek and sighed.

“I’m sorry you aren’t here to meet Aaron. I’m sorry you aren’t here for Christmases and birthdays, I hate that I can barely remember the sound of your voice but… I’m not going to hate myself for not being able to save you anymore. I was so lucky…” His voice cracked and he took a steadying breath, wiping a tear from his cheek. “I was lucky the fire wasn’t bigger, the flames weren’t higher, the building was safer…  I saw what it was like and I was terrified. I only made it out because of Aaron, because I was prepared.

“I miss you every single day. I miss your smile, your cooking, the way you always made me feel safe. I know now that fourteen year old me couldn’t have saved you. It -” he paused for a moment, enough to compose himself, “it wasn’t my fault.”

With that he placed a hand on top of her headstone. The hole in his chest felt smaller somehow.

“I’ll be back next week, Vic said she’d come along too.”

He got up, picked up the flowers beside him, and gave the cold stone a lingering look.

“I love you, Mum.”

He walked away and with each step his mind felt clearer, his shoulders lighter. The guilt and smoke that had weighed him down for so long slowly dissipated and maybe, he thought, he would finally be free of it.

 

The flat was quite easily decorated as Aaron wanted for a small party; it entailed beers in the fridge, plastic cups, and a playlist created by Adam with strong orders of including no Coldplay. Robert invited a bunch of his friends and colleagues and Aaron did the same. Cain declined on account of not wanting to see his employees hammered but Robert wasn’t too sad about it. Cain was an intimidating man and Robert wasn’t sure Cain had taken a shine to him yet.

Leyla arrived with Alicia in tow, bringing a bottle of wine and a gift card for John Lewis. Adam brought beers and nothing much else. Vic arrived with a small present in hand and a huge smile on her face. Robert hugged her in return, long arms wrapping around her small frame and holding her close.

“I’m glad to see you so happy, Rob.”

“It’s all Aaron’s doing,” Robert joked and Vic smiled.

“I know I don’t remember Mum as well as you do but she would be so happy to see you smile.”

Robert felt his face drop slightly but he knew somehow that it was true. She had only ever wanted to see him smile.

“Thanks, Vic.”

“I’m really proud of you,” she said and Robert smiled. “How’re the nightmares and sleeping?”

“Better – Aaron sleeping next to me helps and seeing my counsellor every few weeks… I’m better.” He smiled with the last words.

Vic squeezed his arm in support. She walked over to the kitchen and found a bottle of wine, pouring herself a large glass before walking over to Leyla.

Heavy footsteps sounded behind him.

“Mate, how do you know her?” Robert turned around to see Adam standing next to him, a beer in his hand and his eyes fixed on Vic. His face was all shock and hesitation.

“She’s my sister,” Robert replied, completely confused.

Aaron came over and stood next to Robert, a hand gently resting on Robert’s lower back for a few seconds before he pulled away. Adam had a hand in his hair and looked positively scared.

“No way!” Adam said loudly. “Mate, that gorgeous girl from the coffee shop,” he turned and pointed towards Vic. “She’s right there.”

Aaron’s surprise was evident.

“She’s the one you’re always trying to chat up?”

“I don’t know why she’s never gone for me to be honest…” Adam said quietly before looking down his slightly rumpled shirt and sighing. Robert tutted. “I didn’t know she was going to be here.”

Aaron pushed him towards her, but Adam was having none of it.

“You like her, go and talk to her…” Aaron started but Adam shrugged.

“I don’t think –”

“Remember that lasagne you couldn’t get enough of?” Adam nodded and Aaron continued. “She made it.”

“Could she be any more perfect?” Adam insisted and Robert chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest before indicating towards her. He hoped he looked threatening to Adam.

“If you’re nice, I’ll introduce you.”

Adam’s eyes went wide at Robert’s suggestion and with a swig of his drink and several attempts to flatten his shirt, he agreed.

When Robert came back Aaron handed him a beer and smiled at him.

“That was nice of you,” he said.

“He’s alright, and I’m sure Vic can handle herself…” They glanced over and saw Victoria laughing and Adam eagerly looking at her, face flushed. “She’ll be fine.”

Aaron laughed. He was interrupted however, by the arrival of Pete, Ross and, to Robert’s surprise, Finn.

“You living in the same building is going to be brilliant,” Ross said. “Your telly looks amazing, we’ll be able to watch all sort in HD and with surround sound?”

Robert nodded. He took pride in having good speakers but having Ross and Pete over wasn’t exactly his dream scenario.

“Finn, what are you –,” Robert began and Finn sighed.

“I’m the unfortunate brother of these two,” he said and nodded towards Pete and Finn, both of whom were eyeing Leyla quite heavily. “Didn’t you know?”

Aaron held out his hand for him to shake. “I knew they had a brother but they never said your name or anything…”

Finn shook his head.

“Sounds just like ‘em. Anyway,” he held a small present up for them. “This is from the three of us, congratulations.”

Finn turned away to get a beer and Aaron and Robert grinned in surprise.

“When should we give them that bottle we bought?” Robert asked. Aaron shrugged and smiled sheepishly at Robert.

“Could just save it…”

They looked over and saw Pete talking to what looked like a very disinterested Leyla. She smiled kindly but kept glancing away in an attempt to find a reason to leave.

“She is way out of his league,” Robert commented.

“Yup.”

“He’s your friend!” Robert said. Aaron crossed his arms and stared at the two of them.

“He’s a bit of an idiot though.”

Robert grinned and placed his hand on Aaron’s lower back.

“Glad to hear we won’t have to have them over every week.”

Aaron leaned his head on Robert’s shoulder briefly, a small show of affection that warmed Robert’s cheeks and made his heart flutter. Aaron wasn’t good at public displays but with the two of them stood in the kitchen alone, Robert dared reciprocate. He leant down and gave Aaron a quick kiss, small and gentle and soft, a kiss that had Aaron smiling as they pulled away, at least until he looked around the room to see if anyone had noticed. No one had.

“Love you,” Aaron whispered. Robert smiled and let eyes trail Aaron’s face. His mouth curled up at the corners, his eyes grew big and a slight blush crept up his cheeks at Robert’s heady gaze. The fact that he had that effect on him made Robert’s stomach flutter.

“Love you too,” Robert whispered back.

Pete walked over, a dejected look on his face, interrupting the otherwise cute moment.

“She was not interested,” he said with a sigh. “She’s so smart I think she’s a bit out of my depth lads.”

“Maybe she likes her men with a bit more…” Robert waved his hands in front of him and Pete scoffed.

“You might be right…” Pete sighed, but found a beer and clinked his bottle with Aaron’s. “Oh well.”

Robert elbowed Aaron gently in the side and glanced towards Ross, who was now also approaching Leyla.

“Oh dear,” Robert mumbled and Pete stared in indignation.

They looked on as she smiled and Ross spoke, ending with her laughing. Pete muttered an expletive and Robert grinned.

“Seems to be working better than you mate,” Robert commented. They looked over however, and suddenly Leyla threw her drink in his face.

A chorus of ‘ooh’s’ came from the kitchen and Ross looked over with anger. Leyla got up with disdain written on her face and walked over to Alicia where she started talking animatedly. Ross stalked over to the kitchen, a sour look on his face. He grabbed a paper towel and dried his face.

“I do not know what is wrong with her,” he said. “Anyone would be lucky to have me!”

Robert scoffed and Ross glared at him.

“I’m not saying anything…”

Aaron and Pete were snickering beside him which only made Ross angrier. He looked around the kitchen and found the first bottle of liquor, then started pouring it in to shot glasses. He downed three of them before he glanced at his soaked t-shirt and shrugged. “It’ll dry.”

Pete smiled at him and handed him a beer.

The party didn’t disperse until about four in the morning, with Adam and Vic being the last two to leave though Robert hoped it wasn’t together.

Aaron sat on the sofa, mouth open in an unguarded yawn with his feet up on the coffee table. Robert walked into the kitchen, pulled down the bottle of whiskey meant for Ross, and grabbed two glasses on the way.

Aaron smiled at him when he sat down, placing a hand on his shoulder. Robert grinned at him before he poured two glasses of whiskey and handed one to Aaron.

“So,” he said, “it’s official now.”

“What is?” Aaron replied, taking a sip of his glass.

“Us, living together… There’s no getting out of it now, Dingle.”

“Never said I wanted out,” he countered. Robert leaned back and rested his head on Aaron’s shoulder. “This whiskey really is good, no surprise you slept with me that night.”

Robert snorted and sat up. “Think all it takes is a good whiskey and a pretty face?”

Aaron shrugged and bit his lip. God Robert loved it when he did that.

“Clearly it worked that night.”

The memory of heated skin and awkward conversation flitted to his mind.

“I never did understand what you saw in me that evening…” Robert began. “Other than my pretty face.”

Aaron shrugged. He managed to do it with such ease that it looked like his default stance on anything.

“I don’t know… almost can’t remember.” Robert huffed at that. He should be able to remember. “All I can remember was coming here and thinking I didn’t want to leave.”

Robert hadn’t wanted him to.

“Maybe,” Robert said, “you just couldn’t leave for my charm and my amazing flat.”

“Flat’s alright,” Aaron mumbled, taking a swig of his whiskey, “and I have no idea about your charm.”

Robert chuckled at his smile, leaning in and kissing him gently. It was just as intoxicating, just as thrilling as the first time but it was also so much more. It was adoration and love laced with happiness and the now near-constant want that thrummed through Robert’s body. It was a home and Robert relished the way Aaron equally pressed back.

When he pulled away, Aaron was smiling softly at him, eyes wide and loving.  He placed his head on Aaron’s shoulder again, pressing close and taking in the scent of Aaron’s aftershave with that constant undertone of Aaron. The whiskey was hot against his throat and Aaron’s hand was hot on his thigh. He was used to burning by now and he sunk into it.

Aaron’s heat was different, calming. It grounded Robert and let him breathe. He took a deep breath before lifting his glass to his lips and emptying it.

“Bed?” he asked.

Aaron followed, emptying his glass and setting it down on the table gently. He pressed a whiskey-laced kiss to Robert’s lips before he nodded, breath heavy against Robert’s skin.

“Yeah, bed.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Any kudos and comments are much appreciated. Find me on tumblr [escapingreality51](https://escapingreality51.tumblr.com/)
> 
> The amazing Jenny has made some beautiful art for my fic, which can be found [here](https://scrapyardboyfriends.tumblr.com/post/164857005659/forged-in-fire-by-escapingreality51-theme)


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